


The sun rises again, tomorrow

by noahjuul



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Autistic Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Cinema AU, Connor is both trans and autistic, Connor works concession at a cinema, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Slow Burn, Trans Male Character, background gavin900, everyone is human, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-07-02 18:33:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 32,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15802227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noahjuul/pseuds/noahjuul
Summary: In which Connor works the concession at the local cinema, and Hank has a passion for the art of filmmaking.





	1. The mood is always changing

**Author's Note:**

> jfgdjnhd this is basically exposition: the fanfiction
> 
> this is very much self-indulgent, and mostly i feel everyone is sort of OOC just because of the setting. c'est la vie.
> 
> I've included links to some of the movies being discussed, as well as something else ;-) even though most the movies in this are recent, the year this story takes place in is up to the reader. 
> 
> this story is dedicated to my bb Stickers for being so nice to me all the time, and also the entire hannor discord server lmao.

He should’ve gone grocery shopping. Connor realized that all too late as he stared into his fridge- sadly displaying a half a loaf of half-moldy toast, sliced salami, five containers of mealworms, milk, orange juice and three eggs.

 

Living on your own was more than just a hassle- why couldn’t you buy smaller portions of everyday items so they didn’t expire and you had to throw away a solid meal just because it spoiled? Well, _apparently_ living alone at 31 meant the world was out to get you, and you’d better be able to eat an entire loaf of toast in a week or else you’d just go hungry. Shame your parents didn’t teach you that before moving out.

 

Connor sighed, moving his hand through his hair and ruffling it gently before moving to his coffee table, grabbing a peach laying in his fruit basket, reminding himself that he needed to get more before he ran out: either way he’d have to get out and actually grocery shop before he eventually perished due to his own lack of motivation to get out of his 70 square meter apartment, currently plastered wall to wall with movie posters.

 

Lately, the weather had been making it easier to get outside, but usually he succumbed to only leaving his home for work and then returning back right after.

 

He plopped down on his couch, turning on the TV, only half-watching. His free hand drummed on his thigh gently, he didn’t know why he even owned a TV since none of what was shown could get nor keep his attention. Connor existed pretty much only on his online subscription services at this point, finding it much easier for himself to control the volume, pace of his watching and getting closed captions, it was just more convenient for him.

The brunette finished his peach and threw the pit towards his trash can.

 

He missed it, though, watched as the pit fell to the floor and moved his gaze over to his roombas docking station. Connor rubbed his eyes and got up, picking up the pit carefully and throwing it out manually.

 

Was his existence somewhat pathetic? Maybe. But now some change had lend itself to him, no matter how trivial it might seem to others. Connor was going to get every drop of change out of his new schedule at work.

 

A colleague of Connor’s who normally covered monday through thursday had gotten fired and when offered the shifts in exchange for his current ones, Connor had happily complied. He would finally get weekends off- free to go out on the town.. Party… whatever people his age did. Did 31 year olds even go out to party anymore? Surely he should be settling down with someone, getting a family, that’d be normal for him.

But Connor had never felt like he was that, anyway.

He didn’t fit into the mold of the average adult. The person he was now, didn’t officially exist until he was 23, and he couldn’t exactly browse through his high school pictures to laugh at himself with his friends, if he even had any at this point. People tended to leave when you barely existed outside the cinema where you worked and your apartment- confining yourself to only interaction with colleagues, moviegoers and a pair of leopard-geckos. That didn’t surprise Connor, though.

 

It wasn’t that Connor was lonely.

 

Not at all.

  


Walking past his full-size mirror he looked at himself for a minute, observing his current messy, sleepy, bed head-self. He looked okay, he felt. He was still in his trashy red tourist hoodie from when he went to San Francisco with his brother two years back, paired with boxers he hadn’t changed for probably three days. He needed to shave soon, he thought.

 

He’s thought that for the past three days, though.

 

He moved to the terrarium with his two geckos- Nexi and Noah, the latter laying partly on top of the other. He tapped the glass gently and the two moved towards him. Connor found himself smiling, they were cute, god damnit. Maybe he was a grown man but he still loved waking up to their company. He quickly moved to the fridge and fed the hungry little reptiles, the two of them quickly moving to munch on their breakfast, and grabbed his uniform from his clothing rack.

 

Pulling off his hoodie and letting it drop to the floor, he ran his fingers down his sides, feeling the little bumps of scars clearly but paying them no mind. He slipped on his work-polo, buttoning it up all the way before unbuttoning it again. He slipped on his company-issued jeans (that were way too low-waisted and tight for his liking) and his ugly- but comfortable work shoes. There was still an hour until he was clocking in, and on his motorbike it was only a 10 minute ride but he could just clock in early, get some extra cleaning done, start the day slowly with no stress.

Amanda would probably appreciate that, anyway.

 

And so Connor brushed his teeth, and combed his hair. He felt he looked somewhat nice and presentable- and he smiled at that thought. It wasn’t that he felt he wasn’t attractive, but sometimes a wave of dysphoria would hit him and he’d be sent right back to age 17. Today wasn’t like that luckily, or at least he hoped it wouldn’t be.

 

Slipping on his coat jacket, he felt his pockets and double checked whether or not he had his keys and microchip to clock in. He did.  He wouldn’t want to be without it and accidentally trigger the alarm as he walked in. On his first opening shift alone he had triggered it and had to sadly stand around and wait for Amanda to arrive and shut it off.

 

They had opened late that morning, and Connor was sure as hell not gonna make that happen again.

 

Pretty much ready to leave, Connor walked over to his terrarium one last time to tap goodbye to his little reptilian buddies.

He liked to imagine they knew what he was doing.

 

Leaving his apartment, he double-checked the door as always before moving down the staircase. He held onto his helmet, drumming gently on it and reveling in the little thuds it made against his hand. He lived on the third floor which wasn’t too bad, but it did make itself apparent in Connors thighs after carrying groceries- the rare times he went out to get them.

 

After a few floors of stairs Connor found himself in the basement, he moved to unlock the gate to his 5 square meters big storage unit which was nearly empty except for some books and his motorcycle.

 

His motorcycle was an old, blue kawasaki with a license plate reading RK 800: he had gotten her used for a great price from his twin brother and since he hadn’t gotten his driver's license at the time, he felt it might as well have been destiny. He had been solely using his bike for transportation for 5 years now and even if he could feel her getting old, he wasn’t giving up on her.

Pulling himself and his bike towards the main entrance of his apartment complex. Hearing the sound of the door shutting behind him, he pulled on his helmet, feeling his hair being pressed against his forehead. Connor sighed, smiled to himself and headed to work.

 

The ride was quick- after 6 months of taking the same ride to work several days a week it seemed to take no time at all. It all blurred together in the end, waking up, getting breakfast, getting ready, going to work and clocking in, only to clock out in what seemed like no time after.

It wasn’t that the thought scared Connor, but he’d rather not spend his time thinking about it if he was honest with himself.

  


Pulling into the employee parking garage, Connor looked around, he wasn’t expecting to see anyone anyway, even if he was a solid hour early nobody really used the cinemas parking lot except Amanda and Elijah when they clocked in, and even then they sometimes just used the guest parking lot for easier access. Connor didn’t dare, bikes were easier to steal than cars and at least the employee parking was only accessible with their microchips, so parking there was as safe as possible around a crowded mall usually packed with teens.

He pulled off his bike-helmet, holding it tightly under his arm and moving to the elevator, zoning out as he stepped in and pressed the button to get himself upstairs.

 

The employee break room was pretty basic, a table that seats 8 people at most, a fridge, microwave, stove, cabinets with cups and plates, and of course the coffee machine. Connor’s boss, Elijah Kamski had decided to treat them to starbucks roasts of coffee instead of the regular roast and Connor was surely going to take advantage of that every day, he had enough time anyway, so he chose a caramel flavored roast and started the coffee machine.

 

Browsing through the various booklets and information slips on the desk, Connor tapped alongside the table, updating himself on whatever movies were about to hit the cinema (he was already completely up-to-date, though- he always was).

 

When 30 minutes remained before he was supposed to clock in, Connor poured the remainder of his coffee into a to-go cardboard cup and brought it along with him as he opened the different theatres and turned on the lights around the place. Walking around alone with the lights off in the long hallways always spooked him but he had learnt to manage over time.

  


The smell of popcorn soon lingered all around, the sound of the loud pops- that he never seemed to be able to stand, and the salt on his fingers all greeted Connor in their own special way.  They reminded him how much he actually liked his job, despite the stress and the small things that made him frustrated coming home. Every happy kid balanced out the angry moms, every good day balanced out the bad ones.

 

“Connor? Are you clocked in already?”

 

Amanda, Connors supervisor, appeared from behind the wall separating the lobby from the concession. Graceful as ever. There was a weird aura around her, but she meant well, everyone at their cinema knew that- from colleagues to the regulars.

 

“Hello, Amanda. I arrived earlier than expected so I decided to just go ahead.”  It was only a half lie, Connor had expected to arrive early but he felt that it might come off weird to just admit he got tired of waiting at home for something to do and left early.  “I hope that’s okay.” He continued, dusting off his hands on his thighs, leaving faint prints of salt against the black jeans.

 

“Yes, that’s fine, I’ll be in my office if you need me.”

 

Connor nodded enthusiastically with a light smile plastered on his face, he knew he wouldn’t need her, though.

 

As he watched Amanda leave for her office, Connor turned back to begin restocking the drinks fridge.

\-------

  


Summer was almost ending, the warm winds and unbelievably high humidities were parts of it that Hank wouldn’t be missing at all, his electricity bill was through the roof, and even at 53, his hair still managed to stay frizzy for all of 2 months. He had supposed it was a blessing in disguise; he had started getting grey hairs in his late twenties because of the mistake that was his career as a teacher. By now he would have expected himself to be balding already but here he was, 53 years old with hair thicker than should be allowed in the heat summer provided.

 

Summer ending also meant school starting, which meant less semi-drunk/high/whatever they were doing now-teenagers polluting the roads to and from the only place Hank really went nowadays: the classically styled movie theatre that for some reason managed to stay open in an otherwise half-dead mall. He supposed it was a nice contrast, being able to walk into something that reminded him of his days as a young teen, sneaking into R rated movies with his group of half skater/half goth friends, buying tickets with money “borrowed” from his mother.

Now he was 53, mom and dad long gone. Any cousins or uncles he might have, had lost contact with him ages ago after he went on early retirement.

 

He had expected this loneliness at 80 or 90, when his spouse would be gone and his child wouldn’t visit because of his hectic but successful life.

 

He hadn’t expected to lose both of them, first it was Cole, a tragic accident that shouldn’t have had him as the victim- it should’ve been Hank instead of him. Hank wasn’t religious but he would have lied if he said he hadn’t prayed for that outcome instead of the one he ended up with. Needless to say his prayers went unanswered.

 

Dealing with the loss of a child was tough on any parent, and Hank didn’t blame his wife for leaving him after witnessing him become what he was and still currently is.

A shell of a man, depressed and attempting-recovering alcoholic. Damaged goods, who would want to stick around with that?

 

Eventually he had just stopped coming to work altogether, going on early retirement for severe depression that he received therapy for. Eventually he stopped coming to those sessions, too.

 

Hank had gone a solid year doing nothing, until while browsing through old pictures in a drunken haze his gaze caught a picture of him as a teen, pointing an-school video camera towards the photographer.

He had wanted to be a filmmaker, he remembered, wanted to have a breakthrough because he felt he had something new and unique to offer.  It didn’t turn out the way he thought, Hank never had his big breakthrough and in the end produced two short films before the age of 20- which were both just utterly terrible. One was about a group of friends buying a lottery ticket as a prop for a movie, which ended up being a winning ticket and led to them forgetting what was really important: their friendship- at the time, Hank had felt it was such a good idea. The other was just about a game of Ludo and the feelings it evoked, Hank honestly could not remember where that stemmed from.

 

Doing nothing all day eventually got boring- and soon enough Hank had started writing screenplays again- not in any hope of actually doing anything with them but just do have something to do. It felt nice to be productive, to be working on something, to have something to wake up to.

 

Eventually, Hank got back into actually watching movies, more to appreciate the art of filmmaking rather than be entertained. He had always preferred innovate works with striking colors and sharp angles rather than the dull-blockbusters that were pretty much shat out every month.

 

Hank eventually decided to start going out to watch movies instead of waiting for their release on streaming services. There was an old cinema close by his house, a five minute drive away. The first time he’d went there he had bought his ticket online and refused to go through the concession because he didn’t want to speak with anyone. The second time he bought his tickets by the ATMs, the third he went up to an employee and so he ended up as a regular. The shifts changed so often that Hank had pretty much met everyone who worked weekdays after a few months. Most of the people who worked there were nice, probably after having to sit through course after course of being trained for the job specifically.

 

It was after half a year of coming there Hank noticed he didn’t actually mind talking to other people as much. The usually awkward small-talk that happened when you shared an elevator with someone, or waited in line next to them wasn’t so awkward for him anymore. He had been joking around with strangers, people he would never meet again and he didn’t mind it all that much.

 

He supposed his teenage self did give him something in the end, his naive dream of being a director paid off in the end, in some weird way.

 

Pulling over into the parking lot of the mall, Hank hummed a tune, tapping lightly along the steering wheel of his old car- probably not far from breaking down. He _had_ thought about selling it for what he could and getting a new car but, then again what he could get for a car this old could barely cover lunch. He still loved it, though, it had been his pride and joy when he was in happier days and god be damned if he wasn’t going to squeeze every ounce of joy he could out of his vehicle.

 

Stepping out of his car, he shut the door and locked it. He had managed to get a parking space close by the entrance closest to the cinema, and the well-known route had integrated itself into Hanks footsteps and led him to the main entrance, dark red walls and a ton of vintage-looking decorative posters alongside currently-playing or upcoming movies. The sign was in an old light-box style and proudly displayed:

 

“THE JERICHO THEATRE”

 

He had become so well-known he was immediately greeted by an employee currently in the process of cleaning. It was a small wave, but a wave nonetheless and more social interaction than he had expected for himself at this age after retiring.

 

It seemed a new employee- or one he just hadn’t met before, was working the concession stand today. He couldn’t quite make out his appearance but his hair was shade of brown, curly, swept to one side and looked to be sort of grown out- not past needing a haircut, but he certainly should be considering it. He made it work, though, he looked, to say the least great.

Moving closer, he could see the soft-looking, slightly pale skin adorned with just a few, faint moles belonging to the employee.

 

“Hi!” A smile. It seemed forced, but then again, it was still pretty. Hank peered down at his uniform, a black polo with blue accents, his gaze fell upon his name-tag.

 

 _‘CONNOR”_ in bold letters, and underneath a small, not properly capitalized _‘se7en’._

 

Must be his favorite movie. Good choice, Hank recalled his first watch of it. It’d been a while but it was pretty good as far as he remembered.  Connor must have caught him staring for a tad too long because he took a step forward, seeking eye contact.

 

“We have all our favorite movies on our name-tags, in case you’re wondering.” He explained, arms moving to stay behind his arched back. He looked professional, even if he was moving around a bit, moving his weight from foot to foot. “Though, I have more than one, it’s hard to decide, y’know.”

 

Hank just nodded. “Yeah, I know. ‘Was a good movie, though.”

 

“Yeah!” Still the same smile.”Anyway-” Connor, continued as he began drummed on the counter, making the light pats echo in the otherwise empty concession. “What can I help you with sir?”  His eyes moved up and down between Hanks eyes and Connors hands, now only tapping against the counter as to not make so much noise.

He seemed to have a hard time staying still, but judging from the amount of guests he knew the cinema got on early weekdays, it would probably be boring as hell just to stand around and wait for guests. They probably had to get creative to pass time while waiting, and drumming on the table was the least of Hanks worries. His mind right now was mostly focused on Connors hands, watching as he tapped, long and slender fingers, covered in pale freckles, his nails were cut short but still rounded, and in spite of what looked like traces of labor and a few scars, they managed to look graceful, still.

 

Hank eventually snapped out of it.

 

“The 11:15 showing of ‘[The guilty](https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v%3DAXeeVRazqFM%26frags%3Dpl%252Cwn&sa=D&ust=1535278572860000&usg=AFQjCNEPlustzrsdLrbG0VI2W-VtoxGDpQ)’. Just a ticket to that one.” He managed to get out, lazily rubbing the back of his neck as he watched Connor nod as he took in the information.

 

“Sure! Just one?” Connor spoke as his attention was on the touch screen in front of him, punching in the ticket most likely. Hank’s display changed to a seating placement. The whole theatre was empty save for two seats in the very back. Connor leaned over and pointed to a single green seat in the middle of the front row. “Where would you like to sit? Right now you’re in the green seat and the white ones are empty.” He looked up at Hank, he already knew how the seating worked but from interacting with most of the staff he had figured it was a just habit.

 

The two worked out the seating and Hank was just about to hand Connor his card as the brunette looked up at him and spoke again.

“Do you want any snacks for the movie? Right now we have this offer where if you get a medium soda you can get two chocolate bars free of charge! It’s a pretty good offer if I do say so myself.” There was that smile again. Hank couldn’t pinpoint [what it reminded him of](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/470471830407348234/479648082481381388/mm.png), he knew the kid (Not really, though, he looked in his late 20’s) was probably taught in how to sell stuff to even have the position he did. It reminded him that to Connor, Hank was just another guest. Hank fucking hated snacking during movies, anyway. He wasn’t gonna buy anything.

 

“Sure, I’ll just get that, then.”

 

Shit, fuck, that was not was he was supposed to say.

 

“Great!” Connor punched in the offer, looking up at Hank with those weirdly puppy-like eyes that seemed to draw him in.

 

FUCK. Why did his words betray him like this? Hank was brought back to his days as a young adult, too afraid to say no to anyone just out of politeness. He had thought those days were over but apparently not. It was especially hard when the person asking you looked to be crafted by Michelangelo himself. His soft face, yet sharp features made him something to look at. How had Hank not met Connor before now? He would’ve surely remembered if he had, so he was sure he was new.

  


Hank watched carefully as he handed Connor his card, the younger of the two swiftly picking it up and swiping it, shifting back and forth as he waited for the receipt to be printed along with the ticket. As he tore off the ticket from the printer, Hank caught himself staring, counting the few moles Connor had. He snapped out of it, he probably seemed extremely weird to the poor kid just trying to do his job.

 

“Here’s your ticket.” Connor spoke softly handing Hank the ticket, gaze moving up and down again, as if he was having a hard time maintaining eye contact. Hank carefully took it from Connors grip, as if not wanting to make any movements that might seem threatening.

 

There was a brief moment of silence before Hank mustered up the courage to say anything.

 

“Than-”

 

“Your choi-”

 

FUCK. Of course they just _had_ to interrupt each other, Connor made Hank feel like he was young again and not in a good way.

 

“I’m sorry- go ahead.” Connor spoke first this time, his eyebrows curving gently towards each other, making him look apologetic and timid.

 

“It wasn’t that important, just wanted to say thank you. Sorry for interrupting.” Hank mentally marveled at the fact he had managed to speak two entire sentences that didn’t sound like he was an awkward and lonely old man- Well, he kind of was, but Connor didn’t need to know that.

 

“Oh- No problem.” That same warm, gentle smile from earlier made its way onto Connors face. “Anyway, don’t let me keep you locked up here, go enjoy your movie, okay?”  Connor continued.

 

“Yeah, thank you Connor.” A small, in his own eyes awkward smile crept its way onto Hanks face as he made his way from the concession towards the theatres.

 

“No problem. See you!”

 

He forgot to ask what it was Connor wanted to say, and didn’t get to. Hank realized that when the distance between him and Connor was too far to justify going back just to ask. He wondered what it could’ve been he wanted to say. He’d ask the next time he dropped by, if he was so lucky to see the young man again.

 

\-----

 

What the fuck was “See you” supposed to mean. Connor wanted to lie on the floor and reconsider his life choices. He had probably scared him away, he would never see him again. If Connor wasn’t in uniform and was currently the only representative of his workplace to any outsiders, he would lie down on the counter and cry his eyes out. He should not be so affected by just talking to someone he found attractive, he let himself get carried away, he had talked too much, he felt like a fucking 18 year old again, awkwardly trying to flirt with anyone who showed him the slightest amount of attention.

 

Sometimes, Connor wasn’t even surprised why he, at 31, wasn’t in a stable relationship. He wouldn’t (and didn’t) blame anyone who left him after finding out how awkward he was. It was at times like these he felt majorly out of place, and hated himself for it.

 

Watching as the other man left the concession, Connor sighed. He hoped he hadn’t fucked it up.

He had seemed really nice, not a lot of people bother looking him in the eyes (not that Connor minded- he was terrible at eye-contact), much less at even his name-tag, or the movie displayed underneath it.

 

There was something about him that Connor found endearing, something that gave him a warm fuzzy feeling inside. Maybe it was just the fact that after his own deadbeat dad had walked out on his mom, his brother and him, that Connor knew he’d have trouble with older men.

 

But, this was different from that, he could feel it.

This wasn’t like the time he’d cried while graduating grade school just because he was going to miss his math teacher who’d he had grown close to.

 

Yeah, this was different, he knew it.

 

“Connor.” Amanda’s voice hit Connor like a thousand bricks at once. “I looked at the expected number of guests tonight, and I’m sending Simon home after this wave. So it’s just you until 3PM. I’m going home same time as Simon, but you’ll manage.”

 

“Yeah, I will.”

 

Connor nodded in her direction, half expecting Amanda to just go back to her office and do… whatever she did there. He had no idea, if he was being honest with himself. Amanda’s shared office with Elijah was a weird place, their ways of decorating clashed with each other, but not as much to get whiplash from walking in. Elijah was a minimalist, with several classic film posters hung up, vase with blue roses that his assistant would change every week and a photo of himself. Amanda nearly had brought an entire zen garden into the office, small bonsai trees all around and paintings of sceneries all around.

 

But instead of Amanda going into her retreat, she walked up to him.

“I saw you on the CCTV before, you haven’t met Hank yet have you?”

Hank? Was that his name? Hank…. It had a nice ring to it.

 

“Oh, the person who was here before? No I haven’t.” Connor replied, eyebrows raised.

“He’s a regular, drops by often during weekdays. He’s a bit weird, but I just think he’s a lonely old man. I’ve never seen him visit with anyone else, so play nice. Give him a solid ten out of ten-experience, and all that.” Amanda waved her hand around a tad.

“Of course, Amanda.”

 

Having to go out of your way to do something special for every guest eventually seemed really forced. He’d rather just do nice things for the guests that deserved it, the ones that actually seemed to understand he was more than just a self-checkout machine, just with a person. So, pretty much a normal check out line. The small talk with his guests was what made his job worthwhile, that and the free tickets, discounts on the concession and steady income that wasn’t too hard on him.

Except for when he got papercuts.

 

Anyway, if this Hank was a regular, chances were that Connor would get to see him again just naturally.

 

“Forgive me if this question seems weird, but how often does Hank drop by?” Connor asked, retreating a bit back from Amanda. It wasn’t that he was scared around her, but he honestly much preferred it when Elijah was clocked in instead of her. Amanda had a bad vibe, Connor felt like a lot of the stuff he did around her was just plain wrong. He really wanted to prove himself worthy and so he stressed about a lot of the stuff he did anytime she was around. Didn’t help knowing that she watched him on the CCTV. Oh well.

 

“Pretty much every week, sometimes twice a week. He’s really into the movies that are more, you know strange, and since those get taken off our program pretty quickly, I guess he wants to catch them before that happens.” Amanda explained, her gaze piercing through Connors eyes straight to his soul. He felt bad for asking.

“Oh okay, thank you, Amanda.”

 

“Don’t mention it.” Amanda said as she left for the office.

Connor was left alone in the concession again, with nothing to do but wait for their next guest. He looked down at his hands, fumbling with his fingers, desperate for something to do. The worst part of his job was definitely the times where he was just alone, waiting for something to happen. Connor knew himself well enough to know that perhaps taking the week-day shifts was a mistake, barely anything happened because the most of their expected guests were at school or work. He should’ve just stayed with his old shifts from friday to sunday, where he had something to do all the time. But, perhaps, meeting this ‘Hank’ would make the otherwise boring shifts worthwhile.

 

Just maybe.

 

He’d find out soon enough.

 

\----

 

Two agonizing hours had passed since Hank’s movie had started, and even though Connor wasn’t the one to open or clean the theatre, he knew immediately when the movie had ended as his coworker Simon stopped by the concession to say goodbye. Amanda had mentioned they’d leave after the wave had ended, and Simon saying goodbye meant that everything was ready for the next rush of people (if you could call it that- they were expecting 20 people at most). Connor already knew that Amanda wouldn’t say goodbye, so he wasn’t expecting it - Amanda usually just left quietly. Sometimes she would just appear, too, without any warning, like a ghost. The first couple of times she had spooked Connor, but eventually he had just gotten used to it.

 

He wondered whether or not Hank had liked the movie - he sort of hoped he liked it, seeing as when Connor had watched it earlier that week he had found the experience overall enjoyable. The movie had been shot in one single location, and was about a police officer receiving a call about a kidnapping and trying to figure out who was behind it from just his computer and the phone calls. It had been pretty exciting, even if the twist ending was something he’d seen coming from miles away.

 

He wondered if Hank had seen the ending coming, too.

 

Connor had read enough screenplays to last a lifetime at this point, hence why twist endings and foreshadowing was something easily spotted by him. His naive dream of breaking through in the film industry as an actor had sort of been given up at this point, but when he saw a posting for a lead online, he still contacted the poster - just out of habit and hope. His income was steady and he liked his job more or less, risking it all for some naive dream of becoming an actor was just plain stupid.

 

It was a fun goal, though - just not one to focus all your energy on. Niles, his twin brother, was pretty successful, worked as a detective for the goddamn FBI, had a boyfriend (whom Connor actually knew- they’d worked together previously), a house, two cars and several cats. Nothing felt worse than telling someone about for FBI agent brother, and then only to have to say you worked at the concession of a cinema- sometimes he would just say he did sales, felt less like a job you’d have at 17. Connor loved his job, he really did, but moving on with your life for him personally was long overdue. He was 31, living alone, mildly depressed and working a job with no required qualifications other than a 6 hour training course.

 

He wondered what Hank did for a living to be able to come visit the cinema during the early hours of the day. Did he work freelance? Perhaps he was a security guard working night shifts? He imagined Hank in a uniform like that, and definitely decided he needed to stop thinking about that before the rest of his shift ended roughly for him.

 

He watched as people passed by the cinema, spotting some of the few guests that he could recognize from earlier, walking away from the cinema towards the nearest parking lot. Connor turned his gaze down, printing out a blank ticket and began scribbling on it- he wasn’t very good at drawing but that wasn’t the most important thing, something to do while waiting for the next guests; the only pass-time he had really had.

 

After around 4 tickets had been lightly covered in the blue ink from the pen he kept by his cash register, Connor’s concentration was broken by a voice addressing him. He had let himself get completely lost in his small doodles, and quickly pushed them aside when he realized someone wanted his attention.

 

“You’re still here, huh?”

 

It was Hank, towering over him again. Connor looked up and attempted to hold eye contact with the older man but found himself unable to. “Yeah, my shift is only over in a couple of hours, so I’ll be here until then.” He sent Hank a gentle smile.  “Anyway, was the movie good?” he continued, straightening his back to look proper again.

 

“Yeah, ‘was great. Have you seen it?”

 

Jesus christ, Connor could practically feel the vibrations from Hanks voice in his fingertips. He needed to stop, he was at work and Hank was probably not even gay, much less interested in Connor for that matter. But he couldn’t help himself from studying every inch of Hank’s face, every detail he found himself lost in- his lips, eyes, the soft gaze he gave Connor.

 

He was pretty attractive.

 

“Oh yes! I saw it last week, I liked it alot. The whole concept of the entire film taking place in just the police station is really great.” Connor hoped he sounded convincing enough that Hank wouldn’t figure out he was just staring at his face for a solid 20 seconds.

 

“Yeah, a lot of people attempt that concept but none has done it as well as this one did.”

 

“I agree!” Connor nodded. Hank seemed to know what he was talking about in regards to filmmaking. he wondered for a second if he might have a career in it, or if he was just enthusiastic about the art. He doubted that, though, a local filmmaker would definitely have caught Connor’s attention and since Hank had such unique features he would’ve recognized his face immediately if he had been behind the scenes of any movie. Perhaps Hank was just excited about movies, just like Connor.

His attention was grabbed as a couple walked into the concession, and surely Hank must’ve noticed because he straightened his jacket before speaking again.

“I won’t keep you any longer, thanks for the chat.”

“No problem!” Connor smiled as wide as he possibly could- he had always felt his smile was pretty awkward but right now he didn’t mind it.

“I drop by here pretty often, by the way, my name’s Hank.” Hank extended his hand and Connor gladly shook it. He pondered how long it had been since he had shook hands with someone, but couldn't quite remember when it could’ve been. Connor didn’t want to admit he already knew Hanks name, it felt embarrassing having to explain his supervisor had told him, so he pretended it was news to him.

 

“And you already know mine.”  A light chuckle and nod from Connor was returned from Hank as the shook for a bit longer than you usually would, it wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward though.

As Hank left, Connor started drumming on his counter again, ready to help out the next guests again.

 

He wondered when he’d see Hank again.

 

\---------

 

Turns out he would see Hank again two days after, as he dropped by around the same time he did the first day. This time he was popping in for a horror film Connor hadn’t seen it yet, but he had heard the reviews were pretty good.

 

Getting the tickets took mere seconds, but their small-talk after took a little longer.

“I’m usually really bad with horror, myself, it’s not that I get scared during the movie, it’s more after when I’m alone in my apartment and every creaking sound is terrifying.” Connor explained, waving his hand around in the air a bit. “But it’s not often a horror film gets this good reviews, so I might check it out.”  He stated.

“Yeah, I agree. Usually I steer clear of current horror just because of the reviews.” Hank admitted. “I’m giving this one a chance, though.”

 

It turned out Hank liked the movie, saying it was masterfully done and that it would probably linger with him for a bit.

 

“I’ll need someone to hold my hand while I watch it, then.” Connor had said, jokingly, but wouldn’t have minded one bit had Hank offered to do it.

 

It also turned out that Hank was right, Connor was absolutely terrified driving home after a late-night screening, and just the sound of his geckos running around their terrarium scared the shit out of him. Maybe he shouldn’t have watched it, after all.

 

Drifting off to sleep was tough, but Connor was a big boy, he could manage, he told himself, even as he got his computer up from its place next to his bed and searched the web for “satisfying asmr sounds” to calm his nerves.

  
  


The next time Connor saw Hank was the following week. He didn’t even pay any mind to what movie he was seeing. The only thing he noticed was the fact that Hank seemed to be comfortable getting a bit closer to the counter as he reached for his ticket. Their hands had brushed by each other and Connor had quickly pulled back, looking for Hanks reaction. He hadn’t seemed to mind as much as Connor had suspected he might.

 

Connor had clocked out before Hank’s movie was over that day, and hadn’t gotten to talk to him after.

  
  


“How long have you been here?” Hank spoke as he handed Connor his card, the younger of the two swiftly picking it up and swiping it, shifting back and forth as he waited for the receipt to be printed along with the ticket. “As you know I come here pretty often and I’ve never seen you until that time two weeks ago.”

 

“I’ve been here a while. But usually not on these days, if that’s what you’re wondering.” Connor answered, gaze moving up and down again, as if he was having a hard time maintaining eye contact. “I’m not supposed to say this, but a coworker of mine got fired and I was offered his shifts in exchange for my old ones.” The younger of the two explained, leaning in a bit closer as to keep the conversation private, even if the entire concession was empty.

“It’s not _that_ confidential, but you know, don’t go telling on me.” He laughed under his breath, his smile somehow changing to look more soft, more genuine.

 

“Don’t worry, I can keep a secret.” A smile, carefully bringing attention to Hanks gently wrinkles and warm eyes- and a wink.

 

A wink that Connor swore would give him a heart attack.

 

Connor usually felt like he was utterly terrible at reading people and their intentions. He could recall a lot of times where things were taken too literally from Connors side, and it had ended up embarrassing for Connor. Connor knew himself well enough to know that he would sort of fall for any person who seemed remotely interested in him, or just showed him any attention- But Hank seemed to be easy to read. I wasn’t that he hid certain sides of himself, it was just that they never really came up.

 

There was still 15 minutes until his movie started, so Connor hoped he would stay out here a little longer.

It seemed he would.

 

“Is it okay for me to ask you a personal question?” Connor asked, brows raised, posture still straight as if he was just talking to any regular guest.  

“Go ahead kid.”

 

“You seem to visit here a lot and I was wondering: How do you afford it? It’s rare for us to get regulars since movie tickets aren’t exactly cheap.”  Connor had been curious for a while; he could only get so much information out of Amanda, after all, and after some time of asking her, he felt like he would rather just ask Hank himself- it felt rude to go to someone else for information on someone when you could just ask them.

 

“Just have some money saved up, it’s just my dog and I at home so my living expenses aren’t too wild.”

 

“I like dogs!”  Connor had replied- a little too loud in hindsight. He hoped it didn’t seem overly enthusiastic, he knew from experience that some people found that a little creepy.

 

“What is your dog's name? What breed are they?” Connor leaned in closer, this time making sure to keep his voice to an appropriate level.

 

“Eh-” Hank pulled out his phone from his pocket, and opened it on the locked screen. It was a saint bernard, big, fluffy, great, a good boy.  “I call him Sumo. He’s a saint bernard, but you could probably tell from the picture.”

“Sumo..” Connor spoke, as if to test the name by saying it out loud. “He’s great. I like him.” Connors face lit up, his gaze shifting from looking at Hanks phone and up to eye-level with the older man.  “I want a dog someday. I only have two geckos right now.”

 

“Well, why not just get one? You seem determined enough.”

 

“It wouldn’t be fair for the dog to be forced to live with me.” Connor shrugged, reaching up to awkwardly rub the back of his neck. It was hard to admit to himself that Connor didn’t find himself capable of caring for another living being, hence why he had somewhat low maintenance pets like his geckos.

 

“I’m sure you’re not that bad a pet owner, Connor.”

 

Holy fucking shit. Connor could practically feel the vibrations of Hanks voice as he said his name.

 

“Ah- Maybe not.” The brunette could feel the adrenaline rushing around his body. The two fell into comfortable silence for a few brief moments before Hank looked up at the screen with the movie start times and then the current time. Previews were nearly over.

 

“I should get going now, Connor. I’ll see you soon.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Hank walked off, and Connor had found himself printing out an empty ticket and writing down on it.

 

His phone number.

 

Was he stupid? He couldn’t just give his phone number to someone he had known for only three weeks and spoke to only in a work-setting.

 

The adrenaline still in his body told Connor otherwise, and he took a quick look around the concession before jogging after Hank.

 

“Hank! You dropped something.” Hank had stopped dead in his tracks and Connor snook the ticket with his phone number into his palm- it felt nicely warm.

 

“Uh, in case Sumo wants a walk and you’re not feeling up for it.” It was only half a lie. Connor would love to hang out with the big puppy, but his main intention was focused on the owner. He wanted to get to know Hank better.

 

Hank raised his eyebrows, looking down at what Connor had shoved into his palm. For a moment the younger could tell he thought he had dropped his ticket, but this one wasn’t printed with any movie name or seat information. Connor’s writing was sloppy and for a minute he wondered if Hank could even tell what the numbers apart from each other.

 

He wouldn’t get to figure out, though, as he had hurried back to the concession in pure embarrassment.

 

He couldn’t believe he had given his phone number to a man 20 years his senior as the least- whatever, who was here to judge him but himself? (Though he usually did judge himself all the time. He had stopped appearing in photos for the most part just out of his own self-loathing and dysphoria). It was up to Hank to decide whether or not he wanted to write or call him, he might as well just stop coming to his cinema after this.. Was the risk worth it?

 

If Hank just decided to text him asking to walk Sumo, the risk was definitely worth it.

  


Connor clocked out an hour after that, and he knew the movie Hank was watching was 2 and a half hours, maybe he was dense at times but he wouldn’t wait over an hour for a person he had just given his phone number. He knew that if the whole ordeal had made Hank uncomfortable he should not force him to interact with him after.

  
  
  


\-----

  


Connor had settled for chinese that day. It was easy comfort food that he definitely needed after stupidly giving Hank his phone number.

 

He had plopped down on his couch, turning on his TV to watch a show or something, but ended up just looking at his roomba moving around his apartment, doing its thing. How simple a life it must live.. One goal and it was clear as a day. Sometimes Connor wished he was just a robot that didn’t need to think for itself, with one purpose in his life. All the options for him to pick around his life stressed him out, knowing what he could be and comparing it to what his life looked like hurt a lot.

 

But it wasn’t like he was unhappy. He had a steady income, a place to live, he could afford to maybe spend some money on himself. Wasn’t that what most people wanted? But for some reason, sitting on his couch watching his roomba as he ate chow mein and orange chicken, he didn’t feel like he was living his best life. He didn’t know what was missing. Maybe he really should get a dog, cut a bit back on his work hours, enjoy himself more. Maybe even sign up for a dating app again, meet people, make friends.

 

Anything but this, somewhat pathetic existence.

 

A commercial played on the TV which caught Connors attention for a few seconds. It was for some cleaning product- it reminded him of that oxiclean commercial Connor had watched as a child. He remembered getting the news that the guy behind them had died and being sad he never got the chance to convince his parents to buy some oxiclean.

 

Thinking back to that time, he was probably better off not buying any stuff from the TV shop. He had always preferred being in person while buying anything- despite how bad at social interaction he used to be. He liked being able to see and feel whatever he was buying. He never bought food online anyway, he didn’t think he could get himself to do it. Lately shopping for food online had become more and more popular- getting groceries delivered to your doorstep was convenient and surely proved effective for a lot of people.

Not Connor, though.

 

It was in that moment Connor remembered he still hadn’t gotten groceries.

 

He checked his watch, there was still a good amount of time until the nearest store closed, he would just finish up his dinner and take his bike there and he could be back within the hour. Connor already knew his run through his local grocery store by heart and knew what he needed to get.

 

Turning off his TV, he got up, looking at his terrarium to see his geckos still just chilling, having fun, whatever geckos did. He walked over to look at the two a bit more closely but stumbled into his roomba, stubbing his toes against it.

 

“Sorry.” He looked down at the roomba, letting it move past him and to its docking station. He turned his attention back to his geckos, watching them snooze away. He let them be, before moving towards his front door, looking at his bright blue flip flops. For a minute he pondered whether or not it was socially acceptable to wear those while going shopping at age 31. He decided it wasn’t, he looked like enough of a mess on his own.

  
  


Connor finished his run around the grocery store with a shopping basket several types of fruits and vegetables, bread, instant ramen, chips, milk, spaghetti noodles and tomato paste.  Enough food for a few days at least- even if he knew he would most likely end up buying takeout in spite of the food he could cook.

 

C’est la vie.

 

He had handed over his card to the cashier, wishing them a good day before picking up bags and moving outside to his bike. He checked his pockets for his phone before realizing he had forgot it at home. Oh well, it probably wasn’t that late anyway, he left at roughly 8:10 so he would probably be home before 9 if he hadn’t taken too long. Connor was bad at telling time just by how it passed anyway. He usually checked his phone at least every ten minutes just because he’d get disoriented otherwise. He hoped he wouldn’t be home at 10PM just because his sense of time was shit.

 

The ride home was simple, and Connor was sure he could get back home with his eyes closed. The way home had a rhythm to it, every turn, every speed bump and crossroad... it gave him a routine, made him feel safe. Connor liked knowing when things were about to happen, surprises had always given him anxiety. His brother had respected that while others haven’t. Their 18th birthday had been hell on earth, he’d said he didn’t want to do anything and Niles had agreed and then he woke up to his entire family standing over his bed screaming ‘Surprise!’.

 

Niles had taken most of the attention for the surprise party, so Connor didn’t have to.

 

It had always been like that.

 

Letting his jacket fall to the floor as he entered, he placed the bags on his kitchen counter, slowly emptying them and putting everything in the fridge or on its rightful place in either a cupboard or his fruit bowl.

 

After finishing that and folding the plastic bags to be used for trash later, Connor went to his room and pulled off the t-shirt he was wearing, letting it fall to the carpeted bedroom floor. He caught his own gaze in his mirror, eyeing himself up and down, letting his gaze rest on his scars that adorned his chest, faded white now. He pulled out an oversized black hoodie and pulled it on, his hair being ruffled gently from the contact with the soft fabric. He took of his belt and kicked his way out of his pants, opting to spend the rest of the evening in boxers and a hoodie: he felt like he was 23 again. Before leaving his room he checked himself out, eyes catching a few scars on his thighs that hadn’t yet faded. He felt sad for a minute but left his room and plopped down on the couch again, TV still running from earlier.

 

He pulled his laptop onto his tummy, half lying down on his couch as he browsed the net for nothing in particular.

His phone buzzed. It was across the room, left by his Geckos terrarium. Sighing, he moved his laptop onto the sofa table and got off the couch, lazily stepping down onto the wooden floor and moving across the room. His screen had gone to black already but as he unlocked it he saw three new text messages. All from a number he didn’t recognize.

 

For a second, Connor debated ignoring it: he hated people he didn’t know texting him- he could barely pick up the phone when an unknown number called.

And then he remembered.

 

He had given Hank his phone number.

 

[9:20 PM] UNKNOWN NUMBER: _‘Hey Connor, I hope this is you :o)’_

 

[9:21 PM] UNKNOWN NUMBER:‘ _I think you clocked out b4 (that means ‘before’) my movie was over.’_

 

[9:21 PM] UNKNOWN NUMBER:‘ _I don’t know if you’ve seen it but if you have I’d like to talk about it with u,_

_Hank’_

 

Connor felt like he’d gotten whiplash from his days as a 13 year old learning how to use text slang. He couldn’t believe Hank texted like that - it was oddly cute. He moved over to the couch with his phone and began typing away. He quickly saved the contact as Hank.

 

[9 :25 PM ] YOU (draft): _‘Hi Hank! I have seen it--’_

 

Too formal.

 

[9 :25 PM ] YOU (draft): _‘Hey, yeah its me--”_

 

Too casual, god he sounded like a skater.

 

[9 :26 PM ] YOU: _‘It is me, yeah! I clocked out before you were done, but I would love to talk to you about the movie.”_

 

Yeah. That was perfect, wasn’t too enthusiastic and not too formal either. Connor hummed to himself as he pressed send. Normally he prefered calling people over texting, but for some reason this text conversation was the best thing that had happened to him in months. Besides, if he had to talk to Hank over the phone he would end up with the biggest case of word vomit ever, he doubted he’d say anything intelligent at all.  

 

He didn’t get much sleep that night, instead it was spent eagerly awaiting Hank’s response.

 


	2. Don't let yourself find a comfort in sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two start to feel less alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Giving Hank his phone number had been the most brave - and stupid, decision of Connors entire life. And  _ definitely _ the most rewarding. The way Hank texted was odd to say the least, yet endearing and sort of cute. From his responses, Connor would guess he was a fast typer: he sent many messages, each consisting of a single sentence. 

  
  


The only person Connor texted was Hank, so when his phone buzzed while he was laying on his couch at 1AM, watching some sort of boxing match (for reasons Connor didn’t know himself - insomnia was a bitch at times), he almost jumped off it to get to his phone. Hank usually stopped texting around or before midnight, so he wondered what might be the occasion for him being up so late. Alas, the name displayed on his screen wasn’t Hanks display name - ‘Hank’ followed by an emoji with stars for eyes, but instead it was just ‘Amanda S.’. 

  
  


[ 1:26 AM ] AMANDA S.:  _ ‘Hello Connor, sorry to write so late. I just got word from Elijah that we have an event for the new ‘Bad Moms’ movie and I’ve assigned it to you. It takes place in a week and you’ll be required to be in formal wear. You’re just going to be serving drinks and overseeing that everything is fine. If you feel that you can’t deliver that, I’ll reassign you to do something else. Just let me know before your next shift.  _

_ Amanda’ _

  
  


Reading the message over a few times, Connor rubbed his eyes. At least it was with a few days warning this time. The brunette thought back to when he’d just started and was immediately thrown into hosting an event for 500 people on his own. His anxiety had been through the roof on that day and he was pretty sure Amanda saw him cry while on his break right after. Amanda probably offered to give him another task because of his reaction to that stress back then, but his desire to live up to Amanda's expectations wouldn’t just let him ask to be reassigned.

 

He would deliver.

 

Connor had no idea how to respond to her, though, and after several minutes he had finally come up with a message that he didn’t feel was too awkward to send.

  
  


[1:30 AM] YOU: _ ‘You can count on me! _

_ Connor’ _

  
  


He knew that adding his name to the end was unnecessary, since Amanda's display would just show his name as the sender, anyway. He still added it, though, out of courtesy. 

 

Eventually Connor turned off his TV and got off his couch, slowly moving to his room and throwing himself onto the soft sheets and duvets, reveling in how comforting they felt. He lazily wrapped himself in his duvet and closed his eyes, just waiting to fall asleep. Eventually sleep gave him its embrace, without Connor even having set his phone to charge.

  
  
  
  
  


Connor woke to his alarm going off, and he rolled over to face the small square clock, displaying the time as 6:45. Connor slammed his hand down on the top, lazily searching for the mute button. He didn’t know why he hadn’t turned it off on his days off, since they were pretty much unnecessary, but he was too lazy to bother. What if he ended up forgetting to turn it on on days he had a shift? He would rather just get up early every day instead of risking being late. 

 

He had no idea what he wanted to do. Normally he worked most of the time, so his days off just consisted of him staying in his apartment, in his bed. It was a nice way to recharge. 

 

Connor himself had no idea what he even did on his days off, they all seemed to melt together into a day of him wasting his time online, watching documentaries about the weirdest subjects, or just napping. 

 

Today, though, Connor had taken one look at the weather and decided he should probably go outside. It was a good first step for him to take.

 

Maybe he should go out to get some proper formal wear since he was now in charge of that event. Should he just look for a white collared shirt? Connor tried to avoid wearing form-fitting clothes, so he had no idea what he should wear. Hell, he would probably show up to his own wedding in a hoodie and sweatpants - if he will ever have one.

 

He lazily got out of bed, moving to his bathroom to look at himself in the mirror. He stared back at his own reflection - tired eyes, light stubble, messy hair. He looked defeated. He turned on the faucet and let it run until it was warm before washing his face, running his hands through his hair to let the excess water be absorbed in it. He brushed his teeth, maintaining eye contact with his reflection meanwhile and finally fluffed up his hair even further - putting in some dry shampoo to delay his shower until later that evening. 

  
  
  
  


Deciding to put on a dark blue knitted sweater and loose jeans, Connor finally decided to check his phone - it was on 37% and he quickly moved to set it to charge by his couch. He had two chargers: one in his bedroom and one by his couch - life was just easier like that. The small investment of an extra charger was nothing compared to the pure nirvana Connor achieved when he didn’t have to grab his charger from another room. Laying his phone down he eyed his fruit bowl, moving to grab a peach. Before biting down into it he thought about actually cooking something but decided against it - this was easier. He liked it when life was just ‘simple’, easy.. 

 

As he plopped down on his couch again, lazily eating, he checked his phone. Hank had written him a good morning message. Connor had no idea what he had done to deserve it, but he smiled anyway, deciding against questioning his good luck. 

  
  


[7:48 AM] HANK: ‘ _Hey Connor, i hope ur morning is good so far’_

 

[ 7:48 AM ] HANK:  _ ‘I dont know if u r at work today, but let me know when u are so we can catch up’ _

 

[ 7:49 AM ] HANK:  _ ‘In regards to the movie i mean’ _

  
  


Connor chuckled at the thought that Hank was too shy to get personally involved with him. The brunette wouldn’t mind getting to know Hank better, and since he wasn’t working today he debated whether or not to ask him to meet up. 

 

It was probably too soon for that, he decided. 

  
  


[ 7:51 AM ] YOU:  _ ‘Hi Hank! I’m not at work until monday, but I’ll see you then?’  _

  
  


He didn’t want to come off too strong, since he had only known Hank for a couple of weeks. Maybe he wasn’t even gay, just old and lonely… Connor knew he had a tendency to fall for whoever showed him the slightest amount of attention so he shouldn’t let himself get carried away with… whatever the relation they had with each other was. It was obvious that Hank really did care for the art of filmmaking and it warmed Connors heart. 

He hated admitting it because he seemed like he was supercilious, but most movies made now, he felt they lacked heart and were obviously just an easy cash-grab. Unfortunately most audiences were used to those movies by now, and the films Connor appreciated were slept on for the most part. It was refreshing to get to talk to someone like Hank - maybe he didn’t know much about him, but he already knew enough to know that he liked his company. 

 

Lost in thought, Connor snapped out of it when Hank replied. 

  
  


[ 7:53 AM ] HANK:  _ ‘Monday sound gr8 (that means ‘great’).’ _

 

[ 7:53 AM ] HANK:  _ ‘I hope the rest of ur day is good :o)’ _

  
  


They’d only been texting for a week, always basing their conversation in whatever movie Hank had watched that week. It seemed a bit too intimate to begin asking about either of their private lives, but maybe they’d been talking long enough for it to be okay? And surely if Hank didn’t like any sort of text Connor sent he could just not respond to it. 

 

Maybe, if he could muster up the courage, he could text him about something personal, ask him about what his plans were for today, how Sumo was doing, or something like that. He knew pretty much nothing about Hank other than what sort of movies he liked and that he had a dog - he didn’t even know his age. 

 

He began typing.

  
  


[ 7:55 AM ] YOU (draft):  _ ‘I hope yours is, too! What are your plans for today?’ _

  
  


He deleted the last part of the message before he pressing send. Maybe later.

  
  


[ 7:55 AM ] YOU:  _ ‘I hope yours is, too!’ _

  
  


It wasn’t long until Hanks response popped in.

  
  


[ 7:57 AM ] HANK:  _ ‘Thnx. do u have any special plans on ur day off? U seem to b working all the time’ _

  
  


Holy shit. No fucking way.

  
  


[ 7:58 AM ] YOU:  _ ‘Not really! I’m think I’ll go out looking for some formal wear for an event at Jericho next week.’ _

 

[ 8:00 AM ] HANK:  _ ‘what kind of event?’ _

 

[8:02 AM] YOU:  _ ‘It’s for a mom-movie. I’ll just be serving drinks and overseeing everyone before they go in for their movie.’  _

 

[8:05 AM] HANK: ‘ _ a mom movie? I know the last thing i need is middle aged women surrounding me, i feel bad for u haha’  _

 

[8:09 AM] YOU:  _ ‘No need to feel bad, it’s my job. But just between us if you want to suffer with me, I’ll probably have free tickets to the event’ _

  
  


Connor knew for a fact he would have free tickets to the event, but he probably wouldn’t get much work done if Hank was there. He didn’t expect Hank to want to go, anyway.

  
  


[8:11 AM] HANK:  _ ‘what time is it??  ill be there’ _

Fuck. Shit. He couldn’t just say that like  _ that _ . Connor stared at Hanks ‘ill be there’ for a solid three minutes just taking in the fact he had just accepted an invite to a movie he most likely would loathe seeing, just to suffer alongside Connor.

 

[8:15 AM] YOU:  _ ‘It’s really not your type of movie, Hank. You don’t need to suffer for my sake’ _

 

[8:17 AM] HANK: ‘ _ is it wrong of me to say i’m only going to see you.’ _

 

[8:17 AM] HANK:  _ ‘ in formal wear i mean. u r always in that uniform whenever i see u’ _

  
  


HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Connor swore he felt his soul leave his body when he had read over that message for the first time. Then the second time. Then a third. This was an opportunity, he realized. Whatever God there was, was clearly giving him a chance. He was going to charm Hank with his swift moves when serving drinks, show how composed he could stay while 300 middle aged women were running around, spilling their popcorn and drinks. 

 

Who was he kidding? He would not be able to stay composed during that - he would try, though, as to not embarrass himself in front of Hank. 

  
  


[8:23 AM] YOU:  _ ‘I guess I won’t be able to stop you, then! Let’s figure out the details next time we meet?’ _

 

[8:25 AM] HANK: ‘ _ yeah lets do that’ _

 

That went oddly smoothly. Connor waited for a few more minutes until he was sure Hank wouldn’t text him something like  _ ‘it was just a joke lol i would never’.  _ After five minutes, he assumed Hank had gone back to… whatever he was doing. Connor still had no idea what Hank did for fun other than watch movies. He was quite curious to know more about Hank’s interests. Connor wondered for a minute and made a mental note to ask Hank about them when he had mustered up the courage. A question like that wasn’t too personal, hopefully.

  
  


His phone was at 87% by now, and he decided that was enough. He walked to open his balcony door to air out his apartment while he was gone. Nothing was worse than coming home to a stuffy apartment, and nothing was better than coming home to the opposite. 

 

Connor made sure to carefully close the door when he left, as to not accidentally slam it because of the wind. 

  
  
  


\------

  
  


As usual, Connor knew the streets would be fairly crowded since it was Saturday, which meant finding a place to park his bike was tough. He didn’t want to risk it being stolen, so he ended up taking the 10 minute walk to the city centre instead. Luckily, his apartment was close enough to everything, even if the price reflected that. 

 

He wondered how Hank lived since he had a big dog like Sumo to take care of. Hank most likely lived somewhere with a garden, or else he took Sumo for walks all the time. How did Hank decorate his home? Was it simple or full of posters and life?  Was it messy or clean? Did Hanks fridge look like Connors? 

 

He hoped he would be able to visit him, one day, maybe. 

  
  


All of that had to come later, though, for now he needed to stay focused on his plans. Then he could go home and plop down on his couch and nag Hank about his personal life if the courage would lend itself to him. He would figure that out later. 

  
  


The clothing store wasn’t high-end by any means, but it certainly wasn’t fast fashion either. Most of the time, Connor thrifted his clothes since most of what he needed besides his work uniform was just clothes to wear at home- but he definitely could appreciate a good suit - just not on himself. He wondered if he should get an actual suit or just a collared shirt. Putting on a tux to serve drinks at an event for 40 year old women seemed a tad excessive, not to mention expensive. 

 

It wasn’t that Connor didn’t have the money, he did - he was pretty low maintenance and had some money saved up for rainy days - he supposed today counted as a rainy day. He had no idea how it was going to work out. He didn’t even know what he was looking for. Just taking the first steps into the store was giving him anxiety enough to last him the entire day. He never had gone into a store like this before, so immediately he somehow felt as if he didn’t belong. He most certainly didn’t - already now he was in way too casual clothes to go shopping for formal wear, and now he regretted his choice of not washing his hair in favour of going for dry shampoo. He felt as if he looked worn out, defeated, like he didn’t deserve to be in such a fancy shop.

 

He shook his head and reminded himself that he deserved to shop for nice clothes, this store was his to go in as much as anyone else. He was a paying customer and he  _ deserved _ to be there. 

 

The first step inside the store revealed it had one of those bells that would ring any time someone walked in. Great. 

 

Soon enough a store clerk hurried to the entrance, a brown-haired woman who wore no uniform other than a badge that hung around her neck.

 

“Welcome! Let me know if you need anything!” 

 

“Thanks.” 

 

Connor knew he was like that too when he was at work. It was only when he was a customer he remembered how annoying it actually was. He didn’t need any help, he would just wander around until he found what he needed and ask for help if it was necessary. Thankfully, the clerk moved back to stand behind the counter, so it seemed he was good for now. 

 

Going into the mens section felt strange for some reason. Connor knew that it shouldn’t, but just looking at all the collared shirt and jackets displayed on different mannequins felt intimidating. He wandered back and forth before deciding he should just get a collared shirt and pants to go with it, that would be fine. 

 

He ended up picking up three collared shirts - all long sleeved. Two of them just plain white and one black - he felt adventurous. Black was slimming, or so he had heard. remembered from his days of trying to find pants that would cover his hips to look less … curvy. Maybe black was too casual, but he might as well try it on, he was here anyway. The two white shirts were, as far as he could tell, different styles, one more loose and the other tight-fitting. 

 

Connor had forgotten how annoying it was to find pants that fit him, but eventually he managed to find some basic black dress pants that didn’t make him feel uncomfortable as hell. 

 

He knew being intimidated by a changing room was stupid, but that didn’t stop him one bit. When he was a teen it was being faced with his weight that scared him, trying on sizes too small for him in the vain belief he still fit in them. Now it was more so the crippling worry that what he chose to wear didn’t fit him, what if he didn’t deserve to wear whatever clothing he wanted? He tried shoving those worries into the back of his head, if not forever then, just for now at the very least.

 

He entered the closed-off changing room, thanking whatever God there was that the clerk from earlier hadn’t tried to help him out. It seemed like whoever was in here earlier had left some of their stuff behind. Connor sighed, he hated people like that - how hard was it to just clean up after yourself? He looked through the pieces of clothing left, all of them  appearing to be pretty standard - a navy blue jacket and a few collared shirts, all white. Except for one. One stood out, a navy blue adorned with gold tiger stripes. 

 

It was kind of ugly, if Connor was being honest. 

 

But still, it was kind of cool. He liked the aesthetic of it, it reminded him of something - someone, if he was being more honest.

 

It reminded him of Hank: the older man usually wore colorful shirts underneath his big dark coat. 

 

Connor debated for a moment before picking it up and checking the size of the shirt. It was exactly his size. He could always just try it on, nothing more.  _ He didn’t have to get it _ , he told himself.

 

He took the clothing hanger with the shirt and moved it to hang next to the shirts he picked out himself. 

 

After trying on the first three collared shirts, Connor had decided to get the black one - despite his significant weight loss since teenagehood, he still felt more comfortable and less exposed in black. Only the navy-gold shirt was left. He picked it off the hanger, unbuttoning the top buttons and slipping it on. 

 

To his own surprise, Connor didn’t look too stupid in it, if he was being honest with himself. He checked the price tag, observing the shirt was on sale. He actually could get it.

 

Yeah, he would get it.  _ There was nothing wrong with wearing what you wanted to _ , he reminded himself. It was  _ his  _ money, and  _ his _ body and nobody else should decide what he wanted to wear. 

 

Connor snapped a picture of himself in the mirror and changed back into his sweater, grabbing the clothing he wasn’t going to get in one hand and the stuff he was going to get on the other. He began placing the clothes on the rack sitting by the entrance to the fitting rooms as he heard a familiar voice.

 

“Connor!” 

 

It was Elijah Kamski, his boss. He tried recalling the last time he had seen him and came to the conclusion it must’ve been months ago. It wasn’t that Connor didn’t like Elijah, he was just sort of strange and blunt in his choice of words.

 

“Crazy running into you here, huh? What are you shopping for?” Kamski continued, looking slightly up at Connor. Their height difference wasn’t too bad but still enough for Connor to tower over the other. 

 

“It’s just for the event next week Amanda assigned  to me.” Connor replied, standing straight to properly face his boss. 

 

“Oh yeah, sorry about giving Amanda the info so late at night, but you don’t seem to mind.” Kamski placed his hand on Connors shoulder, patting it a few times as he held eye contact with the younger of the two. “You’re my very own champ, Connor, so new in the field but so extraordinary.” 

 

“Thank you sir.”

 

“Stop with that ‘sir’ business! Elijah is fine, I may be your boss but we’re peers, Connor. Don’t forget that.”

 

Connor nodded in response, about to open his mouth to speak but being cut off by Elijah turning his gaze to his shirts. As his eyes fell upon the navy-gold shirt, he looked kind of puzzled. 

 

“Are you getting that one, too? It looks.. funky.” 

 

Connor had no idea about whether that was a compliment or not. “The black one is nice, though, are you wearing that for our event?” Kamski continued.

 

“Yeah, I’m wearing the black for the event.” He nodded, a weak smile on his face, but he couldn’t help feeling like the navy shirt was a mistake, now. Why did Elijah have to comment on it like that,  _ especially  _ when Connor was so bad at reading people. He should just get it anyway, fuck what Elijah meant; it wasn’t like he would be seeing him in it. 

 

“Nice, well, Connor I was coming in here for a personal fitting so I’ll have to get going. Great seeing you, though. I look forward to seeing you dressed up this saturday.” Elijah patted Connors shoulder again as he moved past him and towards the counter to approach the clerk from earlier. 

 

After Elijah had left, Connor put the navy shirt back on the rack. 

 

Maybe it was better like that.

  
  


\----

  
  


Connor decided to pick up lunch after that. It was still relatively early out and he could just spend the last part of the day at home, doing nothing. He wondered for a minute about - when he was about to die and his life flashed before his eyes - how much of his time would be from behind a cash register and how much of it infront of his laptop. He quickly pushed the thought into the back of his head and decided to go out to a dog park to eat his lunch instead. He needed the fresh air, anyway, and dogs weren’t something to pass up on.

 

The park was also pretty crowded, families out eating lunch together, people just walking their dogs and teenagers hanging out in a remote corner of the park. And then there was Connor, 31, alone in a dog park to eat a sandwich, it was kind of silly, like the premise of a bad joke. He felt so out of place he might as well just go home. Seeing a pomeranian happily running towards him, though, quickly got his mind elsewhere. The tiny dog began sniffing his jeans and running in circles around itself. Connor was quickly approached by a young man - maybe 25 or so, blonde and with approximately 3 more pomeranians on leashes hanging from his grip. He looked more than just a bit stressed. 

 

“I’m so sorry, she just ran off.”

 

“It’s more than alright, don’t worry about it. What’s her name?”

 

“Uh-” The young man looked at the other dogs all circling him, as if telling them apart. “Her name is Amy.”

 

“Amy. She’s real cute.” Connor smiled, reaching down to pet Amy, the small dog happily leaning against his hand and excitedly jumping around him. “Thanks.” It was incredible how such a tiny dog had so much energy in its body. 

 

The owner of the four pomeranians sat down on the bench next to Connor, and the instant he sat down he just seemed to finally be able to breathe.  _ Poor guy.  _

Connor offered to hold onto Amy for a bit and entertain her before her owner had to leave again. He snapped a picture of himself and the small pomeranian just for his own sake, a rainy day, or a happy day. Maybe he took it to send to Hank, just for an excuse to talk to him, just maybe. 

  
  


[2:45 PM] YOU:  _ (1 picture attached) ‘Check out this dog! Her name is Amy.’  _

  
  


Right after pressing send, Connor buried his phone into his pocket, too shy to admit to himself he would gladly just sit and stare at his phone, awaiting Hanks response. Maybe it would be a while before he even got a reply, so the brunette dug into his lunch, looking around at the different dogs and owners.

  
  
  
  


An hour had passed before Connor finally got up to leave and go home, the walk back was fast and soon enough he was back in his apartment.

 

He hung up his newly purchased shirt and pants and turned on his TV, lazily following along some show about ghost hunting. He obsessively checked his phone for any kind of response from Hank for the next hour or so until he finally got one. Or well, it wasn’t just one, it was many.

 

10 messages popped into Connors phone at the same time, all from Hank.

  
  
  


[4:15 PM] HANK:  _ (8 pictures attached) ‘sry it took some time 4 me to get back. Was diggin through old pics of sumo to send to u. ‘ _

 

[4:15 PM] HANK: _ ‘heres a couple of him as a pup and through the years up until now.’ _

  
  
  


Connor scrolled through the pictures, starting with one of Sumo as just a puppy, in Hanks arms. This must’ve been some time ago, since Hank’s hair was still blonde and a tad more curly than now. He was proudly holding up Sumo to the camera. Even though Sumo was cute as hell, Connors gaze went directly to Hanks arms, biceps hugged tightly by a black shirt tucked into tight denim pants. 

 

Connor kept scrolling. Some of the pictures were just of Sumo by himself, in the grass playing or sleeping on a carpet. Another one was a family portrait of Hank, Sumo and two people Connor didn’t know; a woman, around Hanks age, piercing eyes and long brown hair and a child. Was this Hanks family? Connors heart felt like it had been stabbed for a brief moment. Of course Hank had a family, it was naive of Connor to think otherwise - not everyone was still alone at 31 and certainly not 53.

  
  


[4:20 PM] YOU: ‘ _ Is that your wife in that picture? She’s pretty. ‘ _

  
  


Maybe he shouldn’t have asked, he realized. 

  
  


[4:22 PM] HANK: ‘ _ ex wife actually. but yeah. she was pretty. ‘ _

  
  


He definitely shouldn’t have asked. Connor wanted to slam his head against the wall and scream. Fuck.

  
  


[4:24 PM] HANK: ‘ _ The kid is my son, his name was Cole.‘ _

  
  


‘Was’.

  
  
  


FUCK. Shit, fuck fuck fuck. Connor couldn’t believe how fucking dumb he was to comment on the family portrait. He did not want Hank to dig around in feelings. The brunette felt terrible, utterly terrible. His response came quickly. 

  
  


[4:25 PM] YOU: ‘ _ I’m sorry Hank. I shouldn’t have asked. You don’t have to get into it if you don’t want to.’ _

 

[4:27 PM] HANK: ‘ _ its ok. i sent the pictures’ _

 

[4:28 PM] HANK: ‘ _ i want to be open about this so it doesnt come as a shock later.’ _

 

[4:30 PM] YOU: ‘ _ I’m still sorry, though. ‘ _

  
  


Connor had no idea what to respond with. This was a part of Hank he hadn’t seen before now, a part he had no idea how to deal with. It was a part he wanted to get to know, a part he wanted to know how to deal with. He didn’t just want to know Hank as he presented himself to Connor and the outside world. Connor wanted to get inside.

  
  


[4:36 PM] YOU:  _ ‘Forgive me if this is too nosey of me: What was Cole like?’ _

 

[4:40 PM| HANK:  _ ‘he was a real jokester, always running around making a mess’ _

 

[4:42 PM] HANK:  _ ‘he was the one who wanted sumo to begin with, begged for months to get him’ _

 

[4:43 PM] HANK:  _ ‘the funny part is that sumo liked me more, since i was the one who fed him. cole didnt like that, would always pick sumo up and bring him to his room and close the door’  _

 

[4:45 PM] HANK:  _ ‘i didn’t really want a dog to begin with, but he grew on me’ _

 

[4:47 PM] HANK:  _ (1 picture attached) ‘he’s a good dog’  _

 

The final picture was of Sumo as a puppy and Cole. Cole looked absolutely ecstatic while holding the dog, a big smile plastered on his face. 

 

Connor felt happy Hank was comfortable enough to share this with him. There was still some things Connor wanted to tell Hank but wasn’t ready for yet. He wanted to get to that point soon.

 

The two spent most of that evening texting about nothing in particular, just enjoying the virtual company. 

  
  


\---

 

Monday had rolled around quickly, Connors work schedule taking over again and leaving him in a pattern of working, seeing Hank, going home and texting Hank. Hank had even started visiting on days where he wasn’t even seeing a movie, and Connor didn’t mind, not at all. He would just drop by to talk to Connor about whatever, just to get some conversation going with him. He always had an excuse like he had to go shopping in the mall anyway, but for some reason Connor doubted someone went grocery shopping three days in a row. He wasn’t going to call Hank out for it, though, because he liked the company, even if he got tons of stink-eye from Amanda when he was behind on the daily cleaning because of his talks with Hank. 

  
  
  


On tuesday, Connor got a message from his brother. Their birthday was coming up soon enough and they had yet to figure out a plan on what to do. Niles had taken the initiative to text Connor about it. They always hung out on their birthday so it was just tradition at this point: a day of no pressure to impress the other with presents or expensive dinners. They usually would just hang out, grab a drink or something like it (in their younger days they may have lit a bong or two - that was all in the past though, for the most part). 

  
  


[3:40 PM] NILES: ‘ _ Hey big bro, our birthday is coming up soon and I’m assuming/hoping you don’t have anything planned. Do you have anything in mind? I picked what we did last year so you can choose if you’d like.’ _

 

[3:42 PM] YOU:  _ ‘I don’t really have any preferences for this year, so anything you want is fine!’ _

  
  


It had been a solid month since they’d talked last, not because they didn’t like each other but just because they were too busy to. The used to have regular sibling banter and would hang out nearly every week before Niles got his promotion to work as an agent. Connor was happy for him, but it wasn’t like he had another twin brother he could talk to. Their parents and them weren’t exactly close after he came out and had, thankfully, gotten Niles’ support. He honest to God wanted to try and come to family dinners and birthdays, but being spoken to as if he was female and being called  ⬛⬛⬛⬛ eventually got to him - it was easier for him to just not show up. 

  
  


[3:46 PM] NILES: ‘ _ If you truly don’t mind anything, we’re going to spend our birthday eating spiders. LOL. I was joking, I’m not eating spiders again. Either way, let’s meet up soon and figure out details.’  _

 

[3:49 PM] NILES: ‘ _ I’m sorry I’ve been sorta gone lately, btw. Things have been hectic as you can imagine. I know that excuse isn’t good but I’ll text you soon and then we can hang out. Gavin spent half his salary on new games, so let’s have a gaming night like the old days. That doesn’t have to have anything to do with our birthday, either, we can just hang.’ _

 

[3:54 PM] YOU:  _ ‘No worries about that! I understand! Let me know when you have time’ _

 

[3:57 PM] NILES: _ ‘:-)’  _

 

[4:00 PM] YOU: _ ‘Wait Niles, when have you eaten spiders???’ _

  
  


Needless to say, Connor didn’t get a reply. 

  
  
  
  


\--

  
  


On wednesday night Connor had nearly screamed as his phone started ringing. It had been so long since he had heard his ringtone he nearly got whiplash. His ringtone was a loud tune, echoing throughout Connors apartment and surely also loud enough for his neighbors to hear. He wanted to make sure he wouldn’t miss any calls when he had set his ringtone to be as loud as it was - but now he regretted it. He mentally made a note to reset the volume after this call. Who would even be calling at this hour, anyway?

 

Oh.

 

It was Hank. 

 

Connor stared at his phone screen for a few moments, wondering why he would be calling at this hour. He took a deep breath before sliding to answer, carefully placing his phone against his ear. He had no idea what to say, would just a simple ‘hi’ be fine? 

  
  


“ _ Connor. _ ”

 

Turns out Connor didn’t have to say anything.  Hanks voice was slightly slurred, low and growly, like he was a predator and Connor was his prey.

 

“Hank.” Connor responded, his heart rate slowly picking up. He hadn’t had a phone call in god knows how long. He was pretty comfortable talking to Hank in person but for some reason phone calls still made him nervous. Even more nervous when the person on the other end was Hank. 

 

“ _ Connor.” _

 

He repeated, almost a whisper now. Connor didn’t know what to make of it so he gave a simple answer of; “What’s up?” 

  
  
  


He wondered if something might be wrong, if something had happened. He had seen Hank earlier that day while at work, and the man had appeared to be fine, like it was just a regular day like any other: they had talked about nothing in particular, laughed and enjoyed each others company. 

 

The only thing out of the ordinary was a mother and son had come into the concession, half interrupting him and Hanks conversation as Connor had moved to them to ask if they needed any assistance. The boy, around 6, had excitedly told Connor that it was his birthday. In response Connor had crouched down to face the boy, a big smile on his face and decided to let him grab whatever candy he was as a gift. It was a small gesture, but the mother had thanked him countless times as she and her son moved towards the theatres. 

 

“You’re good with kids.” Hank had said, a half-smile on his face as he crossed his arms. 

  
“I guess I am. It’s not often kids get to go these places, so might as well do what I can do make sure they have fun.” Connor shrugged, moving back behind the counter and getting a scrap of paper to take note of what the kid had picked. He would need to make up for the difference out of his own paycheck, but that didn’t really matter. Amanda didn’t care as long as someone paid.  “Even a small thing like that makes a difference in the long run for a kid.”

 

Hank hadn’t replied to that, instead just shot Connor a warm smile. 

  
  
  
  
  


Hank had taken a deep breath before speaking again. “ _ You’re great, y’know that?”  _

 

Connor opened his mouth as if to speak but he couldn’t find any words to say. Instead he opted for a simple: “Hank?”

 

_ “...Sorry, I shouldn’t have called.” _

 

“It’s okay, is there something wrong?” 

 

_ “No, its… I just wanted to hear your voice.” _

 

“Oh.”

 

_ “Yeah.” _

 

Connor was baffled; he had no idea what to say. He appreciated hearing Hanks voice but was slightly worried something might be wrong. 

 

There was a strange silence between the two for some time, before Hank broke it.

 

_ “I didn’t interrupt anything, did I?” _

 

“No...No, you didn’t. I wasn’t doing anything at all. Why did you want to hear my voice?”

 

_ “I don’t know- or, well. I do know, but I’m not ready to say just yet.”  _

 

“Oh.” Connor spoke quietly, his tone of voice matching Hanks now. They were both pretty much whispering to each other, as if nobody else but them was allowed to hear their conversation, even though they were both alone in their respective homes. 

 

“I’ll see you on saturday, right?” 

 

_ “Yeah. I’m looking forward to it.” _ Hanks end was quiet again.  _ “Sorry, I really shouldn’t have called you when I’m like this.” _

 

“Like what?” 

 

Usually Connor felt like he could tell Hank whatever what on his mind: now was different. Connor felt like they were in dangerous territory, that he had to be careful of what he said as to not say something wrong. It was like walking on eggshells. 

  
  


_ “..Connor..”  _ An even quieter whisper.  _ “Connor, Connor, Connor, Connor…” _

  
  


“Hank.” Connor whispered back, and for some reason, he felt as if he understood exactly what Hank meant, as if they were speaking their own secret language. 

 

“ _ You’re wonderful. Don’t think otherwise.” _

 

Connor was about to reply but Hank had hung up before he could.

 

That was weird. 

 

He wondered whether or not to call Hank back,  but as he stared at Hanks contact info open on his screen, he couldn’t find the courage to. If he was lucky he would see Hank the following day, and if not then certainly on saturday.

 

That night he fell asleep on his couch, not having moved since the phone call with Hank, still clutching his phone. 

  
  
  


\--

  
  


Connor woke up with a headache the next day, his alarm going off in his room. He hurried off the couch and into his room to turn off the alarm. His bed was still made from the previous day - he hadn’t slept in it so of course it was still nice-looking. 

 

He recalled the events of the previous night - the phone call with Hank, what the fuck had been up with that? He hoped Hank was OK. It was pretty out of character for him to call to begin with; much less spend half the conversation just whispering Connors name. 

 

The brunette’s thoughts moved back to the sound of Hank’s voice whispering his name. Oh God, he could practically feel the vibrations of Hanks throat against his phone. 

 

He shot him a quick message.

  
  


[7:02 AM] YOU (draft): ‘ _ Are you dropping by today? I want to see you.’ _

  
  


_... _ Connor stared at the draft for a bit, before adjusting it.

  
  


[7:03 AM] YOU:  _ ‘Are you dropping by today?’ _

  
  


Connor set some water to boil, grabbing some eggs from his fridge and getting ready to boil them. After downing two excedrins he paced around his apartment, listening closely for his text-tone. By the time Hank replied, Connor was already sitting by his sofa table, tapping on his boiled eggs with a spoon and getting ready to dig into breakfast. 

 

[7:15 AM] HANK:  _ ‘yea, thats ok right?’ _

 

[7:20 AM] YOU: ‘ _ Yeah, that’s okay, why wouldn’t it be?’ _

 

[7:24 AM] HANK: ‘ _ i just feel bad about calling u last night.’ _

 

[7:30 AM] YOU: ‘ _ Don’t feel bad, let’s talk about it later?’ _

 

[7:36 AM] HANK:  _ ‘yea, lets.’ _

  
  


Connor replied with a happy emoji with a blush on its face, earning an old school ‘:o)’ back from Hank. He looked forward to going to work, more than normal anyway. 

  
  
  


\--- 

  
  
  


Hank dropped in a bit later than usual; somewhere around 2PM. Which also meant that Connor was a tad more busy than when he dropped in at 11AM - the concession was relatively busy, maybe around 10 people were moving around it and grabbing their popcorn, sodas, peanuts, whatever they wanted and moving towards the register where Connor was standing. He could see Hank stand a tad away from the register, as to not disturb the flow of people through the concession. 

 

Even though his attention was on helping whatever guest was at his register, Connor couldn’t help but feel Hank watching him, as if he was analyzing his every move. It felt strange, putting up his ‘customer front’ in front of someone who knew him better than that. Being watched that intently by Hank was something else than being watched by Amanda or even Kamski, it just felt so much different. When Amanda or Kamski was watching him work they were looking at what he lacked, what he could improve on or completely change. When it was Hank it was just like he was being appreciated, flaws and everything, and it felt weirdly good.

 

As the last guests had moved through to their respective theatres Hank finally approached Connor again. He looked more tired than usual, the bags under his eyes more apparent and his face bit more pale; as if he hadn’t really slept properly. In spite of that, he shot Connor a smile. 

 

“Connor. Hi.” He sounded as if he was careful when talking, as if not to say anything wrong.

 

“Hank.” Connor replied, instantly taken back to the phone call the previous night. 

 

Hank looked as if he was searching for his words, desperate to just say something but couldn’t get anything out. He remained silent. Connor did what he felt was right and moved out from behind his cash register and stood in front of Hank; even if the older of the two was taller, he seemed somewhat smaller, shoulders hanging low and posture far from straight.

 

Connor pulled him into a hug. He wasn’t sure why he did it, and for a moment, it felt like a bad move to make. Hank seemed to be as surprised as Connor was, so he just tightly closed his eyes and let it all happen.

 

Hank was soft like a teddy bear, and he smelled like caramel, whiskey and a rainy day. Luckily, Hank returned the hug, carefully wrapping his arms around Connors back, accepting him into his embrace.

 

They were both unaware of how long it lasted. As Connor pulled away he took a step back to properly be able to look Hank in the eye. He knew that his own gaze shifted between holding eye contact, and looking at Hank’s nose - he tried his best, though.

 

Hank inhaled deeply as to make himself ready to say the next words in his mind.

 

“Yesterday, you with that kid, it reminded me of Cole.” 

 

There it was. 

 

“Oh.” 

 

“Yeah. He would’ve liked you alot, I feel.”

 

Connor smiled at that, happy that Hank was opening up but also aware that the concession of his workplace wasn’t exactly the best place to have this conversation. 

 

“Do you.. Want to go somewhere with me? I’ll take an early leave, my shift ends in an hour anyway.”

 

Hank looked at him, his face hard to read, almost emotionless.

  
  


“Sure.”

  
  
  


\----

  
  
  


Amanda was fine with Connor leaving early to talk to Hank, even if he could tell she didn’t appreciate having this much small talk in their concession when Connor was supposed to be working. At least she appreciated the initiative to move their private conversations outside of the cinema. 

 

Connor quickly closed his register and waited for Simon to take over; he was usually on the floor cleaning but could take over the register until Connors replacement clocked in. 

The brunette felt kind of bad just leaving the sad remains of his shift on Simon - but Simon had gotten to leave early so many times it should be fine.

 

After Connor had changed back into a simple t-shirt and sweatpants, he met with Hank outside of the employee entrance. 

 

“Do you want to grab some lunch? I haven’t eaten yet.”

 

“That sounds great. I’ll drive.” 

 

Connor remembered his bike parked in the employee parking lot, it would be most effective just to drive next to Hank but he decided that he’d just pick it up later. “Sure, you got any place in mind? I’m not picky with food.”

 

“Yeah.”

  
  


The ride with Hank was comfortable, like they’d done it several times before. Hank’s car was old, worn out, cozy - it had been sometime since he’d seen a car with this much character. They hadn’t talked much until Hank had turned on the radio and it had blared heavy metal out. Connors ears felt like they physically hurt from how loud the music was. Hank must’ve noticed his discomfort, because he turned it off immediately. 

 

“Knights of the black death. Not for everyone,” Hank explained with a shrug, and in response Connor chuckled and nodded, looking down at the different CD’s in Hanks car. “You like jazz?”

 

“Yeah. Love it.” 

 

Connor changed to a Bobby Caldwell CD. Soft jazz played from the speakers and Hank drummed along to the beat on the steering wheel. Connor drummed on his thighs, too. They could be a band together.

 

They drove a tad out of town, eventually pulling over on the side of the road and stopping the car in front of a food truck with a big sign over it. 

 

**‘CHICKEN FEED’**

 

It looked sort of.. worn out, but homely. Connor wasn’t one to judge on appearance - it may be the best food he will ever have. He knew from experience in his teen years that if you went to a family owned kebab place and the seats were worn out to hell, you were about to have the best meal of your life. 

 

“I come here often when I don’t feel like cooking. Hope you don’t mind junk food.” 

 

“Looks nice.” Connor got out of the car first, standing outside and just waiting for Hank to get out as well before the approached the front of the food truck. 

 

“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.” Hank added, chuckling as he moved alongside Connor. “I’m not.” Connor reassured, a smile on his face.

  
  
  


Getting lunch was straightforward - it was ready in a few minutes and soon enough the two were standing by one of the tables, ready to eat. Connor mentally cringed at how greasy his burger was, but decided to indulge anyway - he ate trash most of the time anyway, so this wasn’t any different from his usual diet. He guessed he just wanted to impress Hank, make it seem like he had more of his life together than he actually did. He supposed it was easier to not give Hank wrong ideas of who he was; after all, even if he felt like they knew each other pretty well the daunting realization that outside of empty small talk, Hank knew next to nothing about Connor. 

 

They ate in silence, sneaking small glances at each other every now and again. 

 

“So, what happened yesterday?” Connor finally spoke, crunching up the paper wrapping from his burger. Hank doesn’t even look at him when he answers.

 

“I’m a recovering alcoholic.” 

 

Connor  _ felt _ his expression change at that, he supposed it was better than beating around the bush. Connor had no idea what to say. Instead he just listened, warm puppy-like eyes set on Hank.

 

“After Cole died, my wife left me and I felt I had nowhere else to go. I’m on early retirement because of the depression that followed. Yesterday with you and that kid, it was just too much to bear and I relapsed. It was a mistake of me to call you, and I shouldn’t have.”

 

The tension in the air could be cut with a knife.

“I understand if all that is too much and you don’t want me dropping by anymore”, Hank finished speaking. Connor mostly just wanted to grab Hank by the collar and shake him until he realized how much he cared for him; but he knew he couldn’t do that. 

 

“I’m happy you feel like you can tell me this, Hank.” 

 

And before the older man could reply, Connor pulled him into their second hug of the day. This time it lasted longer than it had at Connors work, here there wasn’t anyone watching them.. Here he could just be himself, speak from his mind and heart.

 

“You’re great, Hank. Everyone has shit they go through, secrets they can’t or don’t want to tell. I want to get to know  _ you _ better. Nobody deserves to feel like their feelings are a burden. ”

 

They still hadn’t broken the hug. Connor was quietly listening to Hanks heartbeat, feeling his chest rise and fall. The tighter squeeze Connor felt from Hank signaled a non-verbal ‘thank you’. Connor had no idea how long they had embraced but they silently walked back to the car right after, turning on the CD again as they drove off. 

 

“Do you have any plans?” 

 

“No, not really.”

 

Hank makes a U-turn. “I wanna take you somewhere.” Connor nodded with a raised brow. “Where?”

 

Hank opened his mouth as if to say something but shut it again. “It’s a surprise.”

 

Connor usually hated surprises, but not this one. The brunette switched gazes between the side of the road, watching cars pass by them as well as the scenery, and looking at Hank, watching after as he turned the steering wheel or switched gears. He was so captivating like that, almost made Connor want to get a license himself.

 

Approaching the other end of town, towards the harbor, Connor had figured out where they were probably going. The salty winds, the smell of seaweed and the feeling of sand and small rocks under the car tires; they were going to the beach. 

 

Connor couldn’t remember the last time he went to the beach. For reasons obvious to himself  but not so much to others. The second he had taken off his shirt he just knew people would stare and talk about him. It wasn’t that he disliked his scars, but he knew he put himself in a vulnerable situation; hence why he wasn’t out to anyone at his workplace. The only people who knew were Niles and his family, and they didn’t hide their shame of a trans person being in their family, so he wouldn’t have to worry about them telling anyone else. Connor hadn’t dated for nearly 5 years, so anyone he was out to in that regard was long gone. He felt bad, realizing that he had nobody he really felt he could tell this stuff, a thing that was such a big part of his life was still hidden from so many people. 

 

His heart pounded at the thought of telling Hank about it. He had already opened up to Connor about his own demons, the loss of his son, and so much other dark stuff and Connor had given nothing in return. He felt like he was hiding something, like he was lying to Hank all this time,  and for some reason he felt so guilty about it. 

 

“I haven’t been here in so long”, Connor stated, shutting the car door behind him after Hank had pulled up as close to the sand as he could. There were quite a few people at the beach, seeing as everyone was getting off from work now and the weather was relatively nice. 

 

“Me neither”, Hank said. At that, Connor blinked. “Really?” He asked, looking back at Hank as he exited the car as well, locking it behind him. 

“Yeah, I was afraid I’d forgotten what it looked like. Wanted to go here with you”, He stated, half-sitting on the hood of his car. The younger of the two did the same, watching as families ran around in the water. 

 

The two sat in silence for a while, occasionally sneaking glances at one another just like they had at Chicken Feed. Connor watched as Hank’s hair blew gently in the wind coming out from the sea. Eventually, they had turned to look at each other at the exact same time and had awkwardly laughed it off before Connor spoke.

 

“This is nice.” A small voice, only for Hank to hear.

 

“Tell me about yourself, Connor.” 

 

“What do you want to know?” 

 

“I want to get to know  _ you _ , Connor. Not just the person you are at work.”

  
  


Connor thought for a bit before speaking. “I, uh, have a twin”, He stated as he reached in his pocket for his phone to browse through his gallery, eventually finding a dumb tourist picture of him and Niles standing in front of the sea lions at Pier 39. “His name is Niles, he works for the FBI.” Connor handed his phone to Hank, who seemed more like he was looking at Connor rather than at Niles in the picture.

 

“FBI huh?”

 

Connor smiled gently as he nodded, reminded of how proud he should be of Niles, being able to call him his brother felt good. 

 

“I’ve been in some short films and one commercial.” Connor added.

 

“What!? No way!” Hank over exaggerating his surprise for comedic effect, even if he most likely was. “Yeah, let me see if I still have it saved..” 

  
  
  
  


They ended up going through most of Connors photo gallery, Connor just explaining different stuff related to the photos they were looking at. His gallery was pretty stuffed with tons of pictures, just photos he had taken he found pleasing to look at, pictures of his geckos or random dogs on the street. Eventually they came across Connors selfie in the changing rooms mirror of the navy-gold shirt. At first he didn’t comment on it and was about to scroll past it, but as Hank spoke he kept his finger still.

 

“That looks nice on you.” Hank tapped on his phone, pointing to the shirt.

 

“I didn’t get it, but thank you.”

 

“Why didn’t you?” He asked, looking down at Connor.

 

“I don’t know.. I don’t know. I felt like it was better if I didn’t”, Connor shrugged, locking his phone and putting it down in the pockets of his sweatpants. Now that he thought about it, he should’ve just gotten the shirt. Kamski’s off-handed comment shouldn’t have mattered, especially after Connor had already decided to get it. 

 

“That’s a shame”, Hank stated, looking off towards the water, the sun had started going down by now and most people were heading home. “You want me to drive you home?”

 

“If it’s alright with you I’d like to stay here, like this.” 

 

Hank didn’t need to reply to that, the two just sat there, watching the sunset. Enjoying the comfortable silence between the two and the gentle crashing of the waves. It was picture perfect.

  
  
  
  
  


They had talked about nothing in particular on the way back, just silently hummed along to whatever CD Connor had put on. 

 

Connor had been dropped off at the cinema so his bike wouldn’t be left overnight. They hadn’t hugged goodbye, but Connor had mentioned that he wasn’t working the following day and that he’d text Hank the details of the event.

 

Connor had gotten home at 10pm, his phone battery long dead. 

 

He had barely managed to get it plugged into his charger before he flopped onto his bed and fell asleep. 

  
  
  


\----

  
  


Saturday rolled around, and Connor was up earlier than usual, because he always felt so stressed when he knew he was pretty much in charge of something. He was happy he was only in charge of overseeing it. Standing around with a drinks tray and making sure nobody was crying in a corner seemed manageable enough. At least he hoped he wouldn’t find it too daunting of a task, since he wanted to impress Amanda so bad, especially when she was in her office in case something happened. He knew she would be watching over the CCTV, which also meant she would be on his ass if he spent a ton of time talking with Hank. It was understandable, he guessed.

 

It took him very little time to get ready - it was just a matter of getting on his black collared shirt and pants. He decided to not spend too much time looking at himself in the mirror in fear of getting tired of his own reflection and spending the entire shift feeling self conscious. He brushed his hair back, trying to hide the fact he still hadn’t gotten a haircut by making it look like he was going for a swept-back style for his hair. He would get it cut the following day, he hoped.

 

The shirt was tight fitting, hugging the gentle curve of his waist, making it more obvious as he wore the shirt along with his dress pants. Oh well, he hoped nobody other than him would notice. It was just about getting out and getting the event over with, as long as nothing went majorly wrong it shouldn’t be too stressful for him.

  
  
  
  


He decided to walk to work on that day, because the weather was nice enough for it, and since he knew that more people than usual would be coming through the employee parking garage, he didn’t want to risk his bike being stolen so he left it at home. Amanda was already helping poor Simon (with the workload of a thousand men) of getting stuff ready. Simon was also in a black collared shirt, putting toothpicks into strawberries. When Connor had asked why, he was informed that Kamski had gotten a last minute idea of a chocolate fountain and had already spent the company's money on it before informing Amanda about it. Hence why Simon would be helping Connor serve that evening, on top of the many coworkers who were just there to clean post-event.

 

Apparently the guest count had doubled since the last time Amanda had told Connor about the amount. He felt so dumb for only finding this out as he arrived for his shift, if he was to be basically put in charge of an event like this he needed to know stuff like this. Amanda couldn’t possibly expect of him to figure this out by himself.

Oh well, now wasn’t the time to stress, he needed to try and stay calm until the very last guest had gotten through. He repeated that in his mind so many times it was pretty much the only thing he thought about as he poured champagne glasses full of Asti and placed them on a tray. He got several trays ready so he wouldn’t need to repour everytime a tray was empty. 

 

“I see you’re thinking forward, Connor.” Kamski had entered the employee kitchen where Connor was currently standing. “You’re quite clever.” 

 

Connor turned around to face Kamski, that employee-to-boss smile on his face. Kamski patted Connors chest twice. “I won’t be here for the event but I wanted to drop by anyway, wish you all good luck.” 

 

If Connor was being honest he would rather have that Kamski didn’t touch him but he overrode that thought and just nodded. “Thank you Elijah, I’m sure it’ll be an experience.”

 

“You look great, Connor. Keep it up!” Kamski turned to leave again, walking towards his office. 

  
  


\------

  
  


As their guests started to pour in, Connor stood by the entrance with Simon, welcoming everyone and offering them a drink. It was pretty straight forward and easy to do - when he ran out he went to fetch another tray and came back to his spot. There was still an hour until the movie and nearly 200 people had come through already, crowding up the small cinema and the area surrounding it in the mall. 

 

Connor had probably said ‘Welcome’ and ‘Would you like a drink?’ too many times to count before he needed to grab a new tray, moving to the employee kitchen and taking the opportunity to take a breath and calm his nerves. He ran his fingers through his hair, pacing around for a few minutes. He carefully picked up the next full tray and after ensuring his grip on it was safe, quickly moved to the foyer again. Thankfully the halls were big enough to accommodate everyone without it being too crowded. If there was one thing Connor didn’t need it was to be bumped into by someone and spilling approximately 3 liters of Asti.   

  
  
  


Hank arrived with 30 minutes to go until the movie, even if Connor knew he didn’t care about the actual movie - he was actually really surprised Hank decided to come and actually stay to watch it, rather than just say hi and go back home.

 

The swarm of middle-aged women surrounded Connor as he spotted Hank from afar, waving at him with his free hand and the both of them patiently waiting until they were in earshot of each other. 

“You look great, Connor. This type of clothes suit you.” 

 

“Thank you.” The two shared a look before Simon interrupted them. “Would you like a drink, sir?”  Connor looked over at Simon and lightly shook his head at him. Simon quickly realized his mistake and turned his attention to three young women who obviously did want a drink. 

 

Connor turned his attention back to Hank. “I am so sorry.”

 

“It’s okay.” Hank gently patted Connors shoulder, his genuine warm smile on his face. “I don’t wanna take up much more of your time when so many people obviously need it, too.” It was true, as much as Connor loved talking with Hank, right now wasn’t the best time for their usual small-talk. 

“Catch me after the movie, let’s talk then”, Connor smiled, before speaking again. “Grab whatever you want from the concession, it’s on me. Just tell the person behind the register I approved it.” 

Connor felt terrible about Simon offering Hank a drink, even if he knew that Simon didn’t know why that was a bad idea. The only thing he didn’t want to go wrong went wrong. Spilled soda or popcorn he could handle, angry guests he could handle, too. Not this, fuck. Shit. 

 

Connor took a deep breath as he watched Hank move towards the concession and turned his attention back to the guests before him. He wanted to call out to him, pull him aside to a room in the back and talk. 

It wouldn’t be long until he’d get a break and he could finally breathe properly gain.

  
  
  
  


As every guest was settled in the theatre, the entire concession, foyer and hallways were a mess of spilled drinks and popcorn. Miraculously nothing serious had happened - nobody fell over and ruined a standee, nobody suffered an allergic reaction to the chocolate fountain. Everything was fine for now. Now it was just a matter of cleaning - and even if it wasn’t Connors responsibility, he still wanted to help his coworkers out. He mainly worked concession the most of the time, and needed a refresher for their cleanup routine, anyway. 

 

By the time the cinema looked like like there hadn’t just been 400 people walked through it, the movie was halfway over and Connor was approached by Amanda, carefully walking as if not wanting to step on something - even if the floor was perfectly clean. 

 

“Connor, I trust you’ve made note of the amount of bottles you’ve served.” 

 

“I have.”

 

“Were there any guest complaints?”

 

“No, there hasn’t.”

“Good.”

 

Connor felt elated for a moment. Amanda had genuinely been proud of him. He was about to thank her, before she continued speaking. 

“But the rate in which you and Simon brought out new drinks after your trays were empty were lackluster to say the least. You can’t leave people waiting for drinks for several minutes on end, you know this.”

 

“Sorry, Amanda.” 

 

“I’ve informed Simon of this, too. Next time I want you aware of this and focus on giving our guests a better evening than they experienced tonight.”

 

“Of course”, Connor nodded, watching as Amanda left without saying a word as she usually did.  She really just got to the point and didn’t waste a minute on unnecessary small-talk.In some way, he appreciated it, in others, not so much. He didn’t want to admit it hurt, because it was his job and he should’ve done better. It still sucked, though.

  
  
  


Taking off his name-tag and clocking out, Connor waited in front of the main entrance of the Cinema for Hank, hoping he hadn’t walked out in the middle of the movie (though he wouldn’t blame him if he had). It was roughly 5 minutes of waiting before he could spot Hank coming out from the cinema. Connor was easily spotted by him and he approached him.

 

“Was it good?” 

 

“Dreadful.” 

 

Connor hadn’t expected a different answer. He laughed under his breath as he followed after Hank, moving towards the parking lot. “I’ll give you a ride home if you want.”

 

“I’d love that.” 

  
  
  


Connor got into Hank’s car like it was something he did everyday, the warm seat welcomed him, the sound of the engine starting and the way Hank shifted gears. It was so strangely.. homely; it made Connor feel safe, like this was where he belonged. Not specifically in Hank’s car, but maybe just by his side. 

 

“You looked so professional tonight, Connor. It’s obvious you like what you do”, Hank had said as they entered a roundabout. “I admire that.”

 

At least Hank felt like that, unlike Amanda who just always looked for stuff Connor did wrong. It wasn’t that it bothered him, it was just frustrating because he really was trying his best. He loved his job, he loved clocking in, talking with guests, watching good movies, the employee parties where he got to hang out with coworkers. He loved talking with Hank. 

 

These calm times that felt like second-nature to him, their conversations about nothing in particular, their text messages. He could see himself falling for him, even.

 

And then Simon had offered him a drink. Offered a drink to a recovering alcoholic. Connor knew he shouldn’t blame Simon for it, he was just doing his job. He still felt bad, though. He should’ve told Simon not to offer him any drinks. He didn’t have to tell him about Hanks alcoholism, he was sure Simon would have understood. Connor felt responsible. He had failed the one person he actually cared about having a good time. Fuck. 

 

He didn’t realize when he had started crying, but Hank had pulled the car over to the side of the road, stopping it.

 

“Hey, Connor. Connor? Are you okay?”

 

“Huh?” Connor looked up to Hank, eyes still watering. “Yeah, I’m-”, Suddenly, he was sobbing. “Sorry.” 

 

“Hey, hey, Connor it’s ok. Look at me.” Hank gently placed his hand on Connors shoulder, gently rubbing it. Connor attempted to look Hank in the eye but his vision was blurry. “I’m sorry I don’t- know why I’m crying. Sorry.” 

 

“Hey, don’t apologize, as someone important to me told me lately: ‘nobody should feel like their feelings are a burden’.” 

 

It was then Connor realized it. 

 

 

_ He was falling for Hank.  _

 

A smile appeared on his face through his tears, as he reached over to hug Hank again. It was clumsy and awkward as they were still strapped into the car by their seatbelts and the gear stick was in the way. It was still the best hug Connor had gotten in a while. 

 

Hank let out a heavy sigh. “You don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to.” 

 

“Thank you.” Connor’s voice was close to a whisper at that point. “I just think this whole event took a hold of me, I’m just looking forward to getting home and sleeping.”

 

“Let’s get you home, then. You seem like you could use some rest”, Hank stated, gently ruffling Connor’s hair as they pulled out of the hug. “Tomorrow, let’s do something. Just the two of us.” 

 

“I’d love that”, Connor smiled, taking a deep breath before drying off the remaining tears in his sleeve. 

 

The rest of the drive home was quiet, [Hank quietly humming a tune Connor recognized but couldn’t quite place.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT86AoSGEL8)

 

As Hank pulled into the parking lot of Connor’s apartment complex, he turned to face Connor.

“Do you wanna watch something tomorrow? Sumo loves chilling by the couch when the TV is on, you’d get to meet him, too.”

 

“I’m looking forward to it, Hank.”

 

“I am, too.” 

 

“Be safe, text me when you go to bed.”

 

“I will.” 

 

The two sent each other warm smiles before Connor exited the car. Hank didn’t drive off until Connor was way inside the building. 

  
  


Connor fell asleep hugging his pillow that night, thinking back to his hug with Hank in his car. 

  
  


\----

  
  
  
  


The two had agreed to meet up later in the day, which lent the first part of the day to Connor to do with as he pleased. 

 

He hadn’t expected himself to be standing in the clothing store he’d been in earlier this week. He moved around the store, looking for the navy-gold shirt he’d spotted the first time he was here. 

 

It probably wasn’t even here, anyway, someone had probably bought it, maybe it was just gone, vanished from existence - no longer here. 

 

It was dumb of Connor to go back here with some naive hope of buying a shirt he was too scared to get earlier.

 

After pacing through the store, Connor decided to just leave again. He didn’t need a dumb shirt to feel like he had gotten more confident, anyway. He was just frustrated at himself, mostly - he shouldn’t have listened to Elijah’s dumb comment that probably hadn’t meant anything. 

 

As Connor was about to leave again, though, he saw it. Proudly displayed in the sales section that he hadn’t looked through yet. He debated for a minute whether or not to just leave, but found himself walking towards it, quickly checking the size before grabbing it and walking straight to the cash register. 

Connor paid for the shirt quickly and told the cashier to throw away the receipt - no going back now. 

  
  
  


Wearing the shirt at home was different, because now he had time to properly take in his look; the shirt fit him with some room to spare, making it airy and comfortable if he didn’t button it all the way up. 

 

He still hadn’t gotten a haircut, but he doubted Hank would mind. It was just a regular day anyway, no need for him to dress up. He still wanted to wear that shirt, though, to prove something to himself. He had paired the shirt with a loose pair of pants, thin fabric and comfortable - perfect for a night of doing nothing but chilling on a couch. 

 

He wondered what they were going to watch. Maybe Hank had picked something out already, or maybe they would decide together. Connor wouldn’t mind any movie in particular, if Hank wanted him to watch some shitty blockbuster then he would. 

 

[6:15 PM] HANK: ‘ _ hey its ur uber driver here. am outside’ _

 

Connor smiled at the message. What a jokester.

 

[6:16 PM] YOU: ‘ _ I’m coming down now.’ _

 

The descent down the staircase never felt so long. Running towards Hank’s car hadn’t been part of his plan, either, but it felt so natural he paid it no mind.

 

Connor got into Hank’s car, and was about to say hi when Hank spoke first.

 

“That shirt.” 

 

“What about it?”

 

“It looks good on you.”

  
  
  


  
  



	3. You usually come dancing to anythin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, Connor just felt so flustered around Hank, all the time: it was like he just wanted to constantly impress him, gain his approval. He knew he liked Hank, like liked Hank, but he had never felt this strongly about anyone before.
> 
>  
> 
> He wondered if Hank felt the same - wondered if Hank was falling for Connor, as deep as Connor was falling for Hank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH WELL ITS BEEN A MONTH??? i actually had this typed out for the past week but... life..... yknow...
> 
> this one is a bit shorter but i will try my best to make the final chapter rly long and eventful!! : DD

The ride to Hanks house was spent in comfortable silence, Connor carefully watching the scenery as they drove. The quiet sounds of the car, the clicking of the turn signal, the sound of the engine and the wheels turning all played together to a nice melody. Even though Connor had been calm earlier, he was suddenly getting more and more nervous by the minute. He was really going to see Hanks home, sit in his couch, watch movies with him - it was all a lot to realize when you were literal minutes from being in the actual situation. He just prayed he wouldn’t say something dumb, or do anything weird.

 

But Connor knew himself well enough to know he would probably end up doing both.

 

For some reason, Connor just felt so flustered around Hank, all the time: it was like he just wanted to constantly impress him, gain his approval. He knew he liked Hank, like _liked_ Hank, but he had never felt this strongly about anyone before.

 

He wondered if Hank felt the same.

 

He wondered if Hank, too, wanted to pull the car over to the side of the road and kiss the other.

 

He wondered if Hank had daydreamt about a domestic life between the two, too.

 

He wondered if Hank was falling for Connor, as deep as Connor was falling for Hank.

  
  


Hank lived in a middle-class neighbourhood that looked like it had seen better days: It was littered with messy front yards, plenty of ‘for-sale’ signs and drawn curtains. In spite of that, it looked homely; like somewhere safe to return to after the outside world made you worn out and tired.

Hanks house was modern, looking, sort of plain, with a front lawn that looked like the lawn mower and it weren’t the best of friends. It seemed awfully big for a single person and a dog - Hank probably hadn’t moved since.. Since Cole died.

 

Hank parked the car by the side of the road and looked to Connor, he opened his mouth as if to speak but shut it again, nervously rubbing the back of his neck and smiling at the younger of the two.

  


As the two walked towards the front door, Connor was suddenly hit with a giant wave of emotions: He was about to see what Hank lived like - probably one of the most intimate things you could show someone.

 

Before Hank unlocked the door, he paused.

 

“I uh- cleaned the worst of it, but obviously not everything.”

 

Connor blinked, was Hank really worried that Connor would judge him for a little mess? Apparently yes. Connor supposed he could understand a bit, if Hank was coming over to his apartment he definitely wouldn’t want him to think he lived in a big mess - even if he did.

 

“Don’t worry, Hank, I’m sure it’s not that bad.” Connor offered a smile, looking up at Hank before watching him turn the key and open the door.

 

From his first glance, Hank lived pretty normally - nothing out of the ordinary. A couch, TV, a kitchen in connection to the living room. Hank stepped in first and Connor followed after him, intending to look around some more but being interrupted by the sound of something clacking against the floor, in a rhythm that revealed that it was most likely a big dog.

 

Sumo ran right past Hank and towards Connor, jumping up and down against the younger of the two.

 

“Hi Sumo!” Connor exclaimed excitedly, having nearly forgotten all about Hank at the time. He gave the large St Bernard some good ruffles before crouching down to give him proper pats. Sumo seemed to get a little too excited, however, and leaned towards Connor with a little too much weight - sending Connor straight onto the floor.

 

“Sumo! Be careful.” Hank moved towards Connor, now on the floor, and gently pushed Sumo away from him. “Sorry, he doesn’t really meet a ton of new people, he got over excited.” Hank extended a hand to Connor, who gladly took it.

 

“That’s OK! I don’t mind. He’s a good boy.” Connor stated as Hank pulled him up from the floor.

 

“He is, isn’t he...” Hank mumbled, looking down at the St Bernard, who was just sitting and staring at the two now.

  


Connor plopped down on the couch, watching as Sumo followed close by, also plopping down on the floor next to the couch.

Hank sat down with around two feet between them, Connor couldn’t help but feel a bit bummed out, he would’ve loved to get a little closer to Hank. But if Hank didn’t feel the same, he wouldn’t push it on him.

 

“Anyway - I don’t really have anything picked out yet, do you wanna watch some classics?”

 

“Sure!”

 

“Have you seen ‘Stand by me’?”

 

At that, Connor nodded. “Yeah, but I’d like to see it again.”

 

“Good.” Hank sent Connor a smile warmer than a fireplace on a cold winter morning.

“I’m not assuming you want any popcorn.” He continued.

 

“God no, I eat so much of it at work I’m tired of it.” Connor chuckled.

 

“That’s what I thought.”

  
  
  


\---

 

Most of the movie was spent in comfortable silence, the two of them just following along the plot of the film. Connor had only seen ‘Stand by me’ once many years ago, but it was still as good as he remembered it. Hank seemed like he had seen it a few times.

 

The two sat through the credits, taking in the ending before Connor glanced down to the many DVDs lined in the cabinet under Hanks TV.  One in particular caught his eye.

 

“You have ‘The Shining’?”

 

“Of course I have ‘The Shining’.” Hank replied.

 

“It’s my brothers favorite movie.” Connor stated, watching as Hank got up to change the DVD. “Your brother has good taste, then.”

 

“Yeah, he gets it from me.”

  
  


When Hank sat back down, he left less space between the two. Connors heart skipped a beat as he noticed, he wondered if he could get away with scooting just a tad closer throughout the movie. He supposed he’d find out soon.

 

His gaze rested on Hank for a solid minute before Connor heard the iconic opening theme to the movie play, and soon his attention was back on the TV, but never quite leaving the soft sound of Hanks breathing as he concentrated on the film.

  


Around halfway through the film, Sumo had tried jumping onto the couch, wanting to lie next to Hank instead of on the floor. Hank had sighed and patted Sumo, gently lifting him up down to the floor again.

 

_So Sumo isn’t allowed on the couch.._

 

Sumo had then moved to Connors side of the couch, jumping up on the couch again, to Hanks dismay.

 

“Would you mind giving him a little push off the couch. I don’t want to have to clean the couch for his fur and drool.”

 

At that, Connor looked at Hank before giving Sumo a big hug, holding onto him.

 

“My dog now.”

 

Hank flashed a tiny smile as he rubbed his temples.

 

“I’ll clean the couch for you after, Hank.” Connor made his best attempt at puppy eyes. If Hank wasn’t comfortable cuddling yet, he at least had Sumo.

 

Hank shook his head, reaching a finger out to poke Connors forehead. “You’re lucky you’re cute and I’m weak.”

 

Connor felt his face instantly light up at that. Blood rushed to his cheeks and he quickly turned his attention back to the TV screen.

 

 _Holy shit_ . _Should he respond to that? What should he say?_

 

He could hear Hank shuffling in his position on the couch, moving closer to Connor. Their legs brushed together, and Connors heart skipped a beat. He inched closer, letting his hug on Sumo end in favor of letting his hand gently rest on Hanks thigh.

 

_This is a bit dangerous, isn’t it..._

 

Hank didn’t move.

  


_Green light. Bingo._

 

Sumo eventually plopped down on the couch, settling to take a good old nap, obviously content on being able to sleep on the couch.

 

Connor was too flustered to try anything further, pretending to focus on the movie from then on; occasionally sneaking glances at Hank who either had the best poker face in the world, or was genuinely still able to pay attention.

 

The two stayed like that for around 15 minutes before Hank adjusted his position. Connor instantly moved his hand away, afraid he had done something wrong. That worry was quickly shut down, though, as Hank moved his own hand to rest on Connors back, gently brushing up and down, sending shivers down Connors spine.

 

Connor scooted closer, leaning himself gently onto Hank, who didn’t budge, but instead wrapped his arm around the smaller of the two.

 

 _‘I could get used to this’_ , he thought.

 

Everything about the movie currently playing seemed to be entirely forgotten for Connor, who now only focused on the way Hanks chest rose with every breath, the feel of his large, callused hands against his skin.

 

He was being spoiled. Whatever God there was, Connor wanted to extend a personal thank you to her, for gifting him Hank Anderson.

 

This was too nice, and as Connor revelled in the feeling of leaning against Hank, he closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath.

 

Not soon after, he was asleep, with 20 minutes of the movie still remaining.

  


\----

  


Connor woke up cuddled up next to Sumo at around 12 the following morning. God, he slept long when he didn’t have an alarm clock. The brunette sat up on the couch, instantly noticing the terrible taste in his mouth from not having brushed his teeth, mind still a tad groggy as he took in his surroundings.

 

Oh.

 

_OH._

 

He was on Hanks couch, in Hanks house - in Hanks _home_.  

 

Which meant he had fallen asleep the previous night. He felt bad, Hank had probably looked forward to just watching some movies with Connor and then he went and fell asleep on him. Connor looked around the living room, watching as Sumo raised his head before laying back down again. He couldn’t spot Hank anywhere, and only then noticed the duvet covering him. He hoped Hank had more than a single duvet, Connor would feel terrible knowing Hank used his only duvet on Connor.

 

Connor didn’t know why, but he decided to bury his face in the duvet for a mere second, it was an impulsive decision - one that confirmed that this probably was Hanks duvet. It smelled like Hank, of his cologne, also sort of sweaty. Connor didn’t mind.

 

Listening for any sort of sound to confirm Hank was indeed still in the house, Connor recognized the sound of running water, he peered over the couch and towards the small open hallway, revealing steam coming from under the door to what was, presumably, Hanks bathroom.

 

Hank was in the shower.

 

_Hank was in the shower._

 

Connor didn’t want to admit why he felt his cheeks grow red at that realization, so he threw the duvet aside, and got off the couch - careful not to wake up Sumo who was still fast asleep on the couch.

As he stood up, he realized his messy his clothes was, his new shirt was all wrinkled and his pants looked like they had been vacuumed packed and then just thrown onto him without any care.

  


Stepping carefully around the house, Connor made his way to the kitchen table, looking at the framed picture that had been placed on it. He didn’t need to look closer to know it was Cole, so he decided not to. Instead, he moved towards Hanks cupboards, carefully peeking inside looking for a glass, desperate to get some water in an attempt to rid his mouth of the taste of sleep.

 

Eventually finding a cupboard of whiskey glasses, Connor decided to just grab one of those instead. He moved to the sink, turning on the faucet in one swift motion and feeling the water before filling his glass. It wasn’t as cold as he would’ve liked, but it was fine. Just as Connor had downed his glass of water, he heard the sound of the shower turn off.

 

His heart rate seemed to speed up just a tad, he wasn’t sure why. _It wasn’t like Hank was going to come prancing in naked or anything like that._

  


Connor downed another glass of water instantly.

  
  


It was a few minutes until Hank emerged from the shower, dressed in a simple shirt and sweatpants. Connor thanked whatever god there was for the mercy of not having to be faced with a semi-nude Hank this early. Connor was still in the kitchen, getting ready  to grab another class of water. He had no idea why he was this thirsty _this_ early. Or maybe he had an idea, but didn’t want to admit it.

 

“Ah. Good morning Connor.”

 

“Good morning, Hank. Sorry I fell asleep last night I-”

 

“No need to apologize.”

 

“Really, you could’ve woken me back up, I wouldn’t have minded.” Connor truly felt embarrassed that he fallen asleep during The Shining- he mentally apologized to Kubrick for the blatant disrespect to his film.

 

“It’s too early for you to be apologizing, Connor.” Hank rubbed his temples with a light smile plastered on his face. “Maybe I didn’t wake you up because of how peaceful you looked. You always have that worried look on your brows.” Hank took a step closer to Connor, reaching out to poke Connor between his brows.  

 

Connor blinked at that, did he always look stressed? He had no idea, it was just the way he looked to himself.

 

“You looked adorabl- cut- nice- peaceful. You looked **_peaceful_ **.” Hank stumbled over his word, before emphasizing his earlier statement. ”It’s a good look on you.” He finished.

 

Hank towered over Connor, almost pinning him down against the kitchen counter. Hank wasn’t even that much bigger than Connor was, it was barely 10 cm difference, but Connor just felt so tiny when Hank was standing in front of him, looking at him with those warm eyes of his.

 

If Connor had no self restraint, he would’ve leaned in for a kiss.

 

 _Thank_ _God_ _he_ _had_.

  
  


The two stood in silence for a bit, both unsure what move to make next. Hank eventually broke the silence, gesturing to Connors wrinkled shirt.

“It’s uh… sort of obvious you slept in that, you wanna borrow anything?”

  


_Borrow_

 

_Hanks_

 

_Clothes?_

  


Connor could faint at the mere thought of that. “Nonono- that’s fine, don’t worry.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yeah. I’ll just- I should get going anyway, I don’t want to bother you by overstaying my welcome.”

 

“You’re not.”

 

_Oh._

  
  


“You’re welcome to stay, if you don’t have anything else to do. We could grab lunch or something?” Hank suggested, raising his brows a tad. It was clear Hank was as nervous about asking Connor to stay, as Connor was nervous about actually staying.

 

“Oh.” After a long beat, Connor spoke again. “Sure, that sounds really nice, actually.”

 

“Yeah? Great. Do you want a shower or anything? We don’t have to leave now or anything it’s completely up to you.”

 

“A shower sounds nice.” Connor admitted, mentally cringing at how greasy he felt his own hair to be.

 

“Great, uh- the water should probably still be hot.” Hank rubbed the back of his neck, taking a few steps back as to not accidentally pin Connor against the kitchen counter.

 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll go in. I won’t be long.” Connor flashed an awkward smile before moving past Hank, feeling his heart speed up as he accidentally brushed his hand against Hanks outer thigh by accident. He quickly drew it back towards himself.

The brunette hurried past Hank, towards the bathroom to hide his more-than-obvious blush and gently shut the door behind him, taking a deep breath before looking around the bathroom.

 

It wasn’t big, and not really small either.  It was simple; a toilet, sink with a mirror and a bathtub/shower against the wall. The mirror was still a bit foggy from Hanks shower - he apparently liked to crank the heat all the way up. On the mirror was several post-it notes, a quick glance revealed one of them to say ‘smile today’ and Connor decided to not read any more than that - it seemed pretty private, a little too intimate for Connor to be reading, so he just turned the shower on, switching the water to a medium hot temperature and slipping off his shirt. He placed it on top on the toilet, and took off his pants as well, folding them and placing them on top of his shirt, leaving him in only his underwear and socks.

 

He moved to look at himself in the mirror, tracing over the scars hugging his chest.

  


Connor was hit with a wave of guilt.

 

_He still hadn’t come out to Hank._

 

He knew it wasn’t something he owed him, per say, but he still felt bad. He was pretty sure one wouldn’t just describe their relation to each other as just friends at this point. But they weren’t quite.. On their way to be dating just yet. Connor was so confused and it didn’t help the fact he was pretty much naked in Hanks bathroom.

 

He wasn’t worried Hank wouldn’t understand, he just, had had one too many experiences with people telling him they felt tricked. No matter how many times he had reassured himself it didn’t matter what they thought, it still hurt a fuckton. He should tell him.

 

_He should just do it._

 

_Put on your pants again and go out there and just tell him._

 

_Get it over with._

 

Connor turned off the stream of water as to not up Hanks water bill without any proper cause. He grabbed his pants and began slipping them on as he heard Hank approach the bathroom door.

 

From the other side of the door came his voice.

  
“Connor? You okay in there?”

  


“Ah- ah- Yeah, I just.” Connors heart was beating all the way to his ears. “I wanted to tell you something.” He spoke through the door, and took the lack of answer as Hank listening closely.

 

Connor took a deep breath.

 

_Come on_

 

“I- uh-”

 

_Just get it over with._

 

The two fell silent for a few moments.

 

“Nevermind, I figured it out-”

 

 _Not now_ , he decided. **_Not now._ **

  
  
  
  


\-----

 

Connor found out that Hank used honey and milk scented shampoo and body wash.

 

And now Connor was going to go out to get the same brand the next time he went shopping.

  


Maybe that was too intimate but fuck it, who would know what brand of shampoo Connor bought and why he bought it? Nobody but himself would know, it’d be fine.

  


The steam from the shower seemed to have straightened out Connors shirt just a bit - at least enough for it to be somewhat presentable to go out to lunch. He wondered where Hank wanted to go to eat.. Would they be going to Chicken feed again? Connor had never been picky with what he ate, so if Hank wanted to go there that was totally fine.

 

Grabbing a towel and fluffing up his hair- Connor looked in the mirror again, carefully studying his face for a minute, running his hands up and down it and squishing his cheeks gently. As his hair became more and more dry, he brushed through it with his hands, swooping it to one side like he always did.

 

He spent a few minutes just pacing around the bathroom before putting on his shirt, it slightly sticking to his wet torso. He slipped on his pants and socks and carefully moving back to the living room to spot Hank on the couch.

Sumo still hadn’t moved from his place and looked to be the happiest dog alive after being granted permission to stay on the couch. Connor smiled at the sight, this was a bit domestic, now that he thought about it.

 

Hank must have noticed the sound of Connor exiting the bathroom, because he turned around to look in his direction, subtly eyeing him up and down- but not subtle enough for Connor not to notice.

 

The brunette moved around the couch and plopped down next to Hank, from the beginning closing the distance between the two - limiting it to barely half a foot. The older of the two didn’t seem to mind.

 

“Since we haven’t eaten breakfast either, do you wanna grab brunch?”

 

“You saying the word ‘brunch’ just added 10 years to how I view you, Hank.” Connor teased, getting a friendly soft punch against the side of his arm in response.  

 

“Shut up. ..fucking youngsters.”

 

“Youngsters.” Connor repeated.

 

“Arhg, shut up.” Hank got off the couch, messing up Connors hair as he walked past him and towards the front door. Connor followed after him like a poodle after its owner.

 

\----

 

The weather had been a bit on the colder side that day in comparison to the previous, and Connor ended up borrowing one of Hanks coats. He could basically swim in it with how big it was on him, but if you didn’t know better it could also just be a bold fashion choice.

  
  


The two had decided to park a little out of the city centre to make sure they wouldn’t be spending an extra hour just looking for a parking spot next to the Café they had decided on. They could walk the last few hundred feet, and they did. Instinctually, Connor had embarrassingly attempted to hold Hanks hand while they walked. The light touch felt surprising but not unwelcome, but to be sure, Connor withdrew his hand again.

 

It was only when Hank reached out to grab it that he let himself get carried away.

 

Hanks hands were big. Really big. Callused, slightly rough but still soft in their own way. And it seemed like Connors and Hanks hands just fit together like two puzzle pieces.

 

The two didn’t comment on it, just kept walking until they reached the destination and quickly slipped inside, away from the cold wind and slightly low temperature.

  


The café was slightly busy and the pair had gotten a table in the very corner, their own secluded little part of the café. Neither of them minded.

 

They had both gotten a simple brunch platter with sausage, bacon, eggs, pancakes and the like. It had been a while since Connors first meals of the days had looked so good.. Usually it was just a drinking yoghurt or a piece of fruit. It felt sort nice to have a change, to be sitting here with Hank in front of him.

 

_Was this a date?_

 

Connor shifted his gaze up to Hank and down at the table, focusing on his food,

 

_It was, wasn’t it._

 

He watched as Hank ate, his mind wandering to places he didn’t even know existed.

  
  


Before he knew it, he had completely zoned out, he barely registered it until Hank had tapped his shoulder, saying something Connor couldn’t quite make out.

 

“I’m okay.” He quickly replied, not even knowing the question he was responding to. “I, uh, just zoned out, sorry.”

 

“It’s okay, I was just saying it’s been awhile since I’ve had proper breakfast.”

 

“Ah, yeah. Me too.” Connor replied, finally digging into his food that was previously untouched.

 

“You sure you’re not feeling bad?”

 

“Just tired, I think.”

 

“Just tired.” Hank repeated. “Be careful not to overwork yourself, Connor. Nothing good will come of it.”

 

“Well, money comes out of it.”

 

“Touché.” Hank shrugged. “But seriously, be careful.”

 

Connor nodded.

 

“What about you, though?”

“What about me?” Hank replied, a raised brow on his face.

 

“It’s sort of a personal question, if that’s okay.”

 

At that, Hank just nodded.

 

“I was just uh, thinking about money and wondering how you can afford to come to the cinema so often.. I mean, it’s not really cheap.”

 

“It isn’t but, lately I haven’t been coming because of the movies.”  Hank confessed.

 

“Why are you coming then?” Connor replied instantly, genuinely curious.

 

_OH WAIT._

 

_Connor you dense fucking idiot he’s flirting with you!_

 

“Nevermind, I’m dumb.” The younger quickly corrected.

 

“You’re not.”

 

“Sounds fake, but okay.”

 

Hank leaned back as he laughed; his laugh was soft but rough at the same time. It was intimidating, yet inviting. He wanted to hear Hank laugh more.

 

“I guess filmmaking has always been a passion of mine. I, uh, used to write screenplays- well, still do.”

 

“What? That’s so cool..!” Connors puppy-like eyes widened; they basically screamed ‘let me read them!!’.

 

“Eh, it’s nothing special. I used to be a teacher but when I was younger I really wanted to make films. I never got that big break I hoped for, though.”

 

“One rarely does.” Connor responded. “Even so, I’d love to read some of your work. I’ve shown you my embarrassing commercials and short-films, you owe it to me.” he reminded him, mock raising a finger as if to make his point.

 

“I guess I do.”

 

Connor smiled at that, he couldn’t wait.

  
  


Even after finishing their brunch, the two kept sitting by their small secluded table, talking about nothing in particular. Connor felt his brain fill with new information about Hank, the names of his high-school friends who had helped him with his short-films, what camera he had used, how many takes it took to get one scene in particular correct due to the actors not being able to stay serious (but then again, they were both 16 year olds at the time- what could Hank expect?), and lastly, what themes Hank liked exploring when writing screenplays- he mostly wrote character studies, screenplays based in what he found interesting in people. Hank wrote about the sides of people that they kept hidden from others, about families, he had even tried to write a romantic script at one point- he had mentioned he had thrown it out right after finishing it.

 

Every single thing Hank said, Connor soaked it all up like some sort of sponge. He could listen to the older man speak for hours, hearing someone talk about their passion always made Connor happy.

 

Hank made Connor happy.

 

\---

 

The first time Connor checked his phones, it was for the time. It was nearly 4PM.

 

“Oh.” Connor had double checked the time before looking up at Hank.

 

_They had been talking for well over 4 hours._

 

“We arrived at 1, right?” The brunette asked.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“It’s 5.”

 

Hank seemed as shocked as Connor was.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Do you want to get going?”

 

_Not really._

 

“Do _you_ want to?”

 

“I asked first.”

 

“I guess you did.” Connor rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you wanna go for a walk around town?”

 

And with that, the two paid for their food, apologized for staying so long and got going.

  


\--

 

Stores always closed early on sundays and today was no exception. The streets were pretty much clear of people by now and the pair had the sidewalk to themselves. There wasn’t much to do besides walk around and look at the buildings. But that simple task seemed to be alright with both of them.

 

Connor hadn’t realized when he’d grabbed Hanks hand, it had been a subconscious response from him - just something he had done because it felt natural. He had only noticed what he had done as Hank had squeezed his grip on Connors hand to be a bit tighter.

  
  


After 30 minutes, his hand was numb as hell, but he didn’t mind one bit.

  
  


As the clock struck 6PM, Hank mentioned that he probably should be getting back to Sumo sometime soon.

 

Connor had understood completely, even if he was sad to end the day this early.

 

“I’ll drive you home, if you want.”

 

“Thank you, Hank.” Connor smiled.

  
  


Hanks car was cold as hell, Connor could practically see his breath as if it was a winter day- well, not really but, it was certainly chilly. The sun could come out again soon, for Connors sake if not for anyone else.

“How old is this car anyway?” He had asked as Hank started the engine, watching as the older of the two kept his eyes on the wing mirror on his left before turning on his blinker and pulling out onto the road.

 

“Ah, I got her a while ago. It was before even Cole was born, so, 15 years? I can’t recall.”

 

“15 years?” Connor chuckled with a raised brow.

 

“I’m old, Connor, my car has to be old, too.”

 

“That makes no sense, but sure.” Connor teased.

 

“I’m _old,_ the things I say don’t have to make sense.” Hank stressed, a smile on his face as well.

 

“You’re not that old.”

 

“You’re 20-something, what do you know about being old?”

 

“I’m 31, Hank.”

 

“Oh.” Hank seemed genuinely surprised. Connor supposed he just hadn’t told Hank his age yet, anyway, if that mattered.  Perhaps he did look younger than his actual age, and that was a compliment... He guessed. But now that he thought about it, he did not want to be hit on by people in their 20’s.

 

“I’m 53, if you wanted to know.” Hank added, eyes still on the road.

 

“Oh, so you _are_ old.”

 

“Fuck off.”

 

“Old and wise, then.” Connor corrected.

 

“Perhaps.” Hank shrugged. “The only things I’ve learned in my life so far is that being honest is always the best option, patience is only a virtue when you get what you want, and nobody is born a sex-god.”

 

Connor waited a moment before speaking, taking in what Hank had just said.  “Yeah, that’s true.”

  
  


It wasn’t long until Hank pulled into the parking garage of Connors apartment complex. Connor unclicked his seatbelt, but didn’t get out of the car. Instead he just sat in the car with Hank, the two looking at each other.  They didn’t speak, but instead nonverbally thanked each other for the day.

 

Connors heart felt like it was being gently squeezed by some unknown force, he felt warm; safe.

 

“I’ll see you?” Hank had asked, voice careful.

 

“You will.” Connor confirmed. He felt like he had so much more to say but no way to say it.

 

Hank had hummed a flat tone in response; a simple ‘hmm’. But for some reason it meant so much more than just that.

 

Connor shot Hank a warm smile, awkwardly moving to open the car door and get out before he said something he might regret - something that could leave him more vulnerable than he was now. He decided to stand and wave as Hank drove off, and then he would move to his apartment and spend God knows how much time on his bed.

 

Except Hank didn’t drive off.

 

He turned off the engine, the small buzz of the car came to a stop and suddenly everything seemed so loud. The sound of the car door shutting behind Hank as he exited the car, his footsteps approaching Connor and the quiet humming from the back of his throat all seemed to be deafening.

 

Without saying a word, Hank pulled Connor into a hug, holding him closer than ever before.

 

“I-”                                                                               “You-”

 

They interrupted each other, Connor quickly shut up and so did Hank. They both settled in the silence between the two as they embraced. They both had no idea how long they had hugged for, but even as they pulled out of the hug, they didn’t quite step back.

 

Instead Hank leaned closer. And Connor wasn’t stupid, he knew what was coming.

  


But the kiss still felt unreal.

  
  


It didn’t last long, though, half of it was nervosity and the other half Connor still wasn’t sure of.

 

“I like you. A lot.” Connor confessed, and it felt like a thousand weights had been lifted from his shoulders. “I feel like I’m actually falling for you, Hank.” He wrapped his arms around the taller man, leaning nearly his entire weight on him as he relaxed into the embrace.

 

“Yeah. Me too.” Was the response he got. Somehow, those three words meant the world to him, he felt like they were pretty much tattooed to his heart.

 

Connor knew he was bad at relationships, and he couldn’t tell whether or not what he felt for Hank was indeed love: but he knew there was something there. It was undeniable.

 

It was a natural occurrence; the same result as puddles that were still present after a heavy rainfall. It all came together in the end.  

  


“I don’t want to say goodbye right now.” Connor admitted. “Can we go back to your place?” He asked.

 

Only then did Connor realize what that could be interpreted as. But if he was being honest with himself, he wouldn’t mind _that_ possibility either.

 

“Of course.” Hank had replied, not quite letting go yet.

 

-

 

Letting go of Hank to go back into the car was almost painful, but the promise of more time with him later that night made up for it. Connor knew he had a shift the following day but at the time he couldn’t care less. He could call afford to call in sick, he didn’t have a single sick-day in his past so it would be fine.

 

“Before we go home, do you want some dinner?” Hank had broken the silence as soon as they had gotten out of the parking garage. “We can get take-away.”

 

“Only if we can get panda express.”

 

“Of course we can get panda express, we can dine on the finest brunch early in the day and eat trash later.”

 

“Hell yes.”

 

The two had laughed and Connor had shifted through the CD’s Hank had in his car, eventually deciding on letting some jazz play through the speakers of the car. Hank hummed along, Connor couldn’t keep his eyes off of Hank and the sunset slowly started to show itself, peeking through the tall buildings of the city.

 

All was well.

  
  


\----

  


Sumo had been more than ecstatic when Hank and Connor had come back home, both carrying bags full of take-away from panda express.

 

The big dog had moved to Hanks side instantly, circling the older man before realizing he wasn’t getting any treats from him and then moved to Connors side right after. Connor wasn’t giving him any treats either though, and as soon as Sumo realized that he moved to the couch and jumped up to rest on it, much to Hanks dismay.

 

“You were too nice to him, now he’s gonna be on the couch forever.” Hank mock complained, setting down the plastic bags on the sofa table and Connor doing the same.

 

“That sounds like the opposite of a problem, who wouldn’t want cuddles from a good boy like Sumo?”

 

“You have a point.”

 

The two plopped down on the couch and Connor immediately dug into his chow mein/orange chicken combo. It had been so long since he’d eaten good junk food and he was going to savour every second of this meal. Hank had turned on the TV to some documentary channel, neither of them had said a word but Connor had slowly inched his way to lean on Hank as the two ate their food in silence.

-

 

Half-cuddling with Hank on the couch with Sumo while half-paying attention to some documentary felt weirdly domestic, too much so in a way. Connor felt bad, he couldn’t stop the nagging feeling that he was lying to Hank all this time-  that he was promising him things he couldn’t keep because of his body.

He knew that it should be easy for him to have just told Hank right away, just tell him and that’s it - he didn’t have to make it as big a deal as he did right now. If the two were going to pursue anything, then Connor would have to come clean.

 

He just had to jump into it.

 

Take the leap.

 

“Hank.” Connors voice was flat, firm, even if his heart was beating with several thousand miles a second.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Serious talk.” He stated, putting down the container with his food, and waiting for Hank to do the same before continuing to speak.

 

“I shouldn’t have told you this late but I- I think it’s easier just to show you.”

 

Hank looked puzzled to say the least.

 

Connor took a deep breath and moved his hands to the buttons of his shirt.

  


And let Hank take it in himself. In reality, it was just a set of scars under his chest, lightly faded. But it was also much more than that, something that felt like the weight of a thousand kilos of steel lifted off his chest: A constant reminder of where he used to be and where he is now.

Connor had his ups and downs in regards to his self-image, like everybody else. Some days he felt like he was the most attractive person in the world, other days he could barely look in the mirror. It was a sort of balance - he assumed.

 

Yin and yang - or something like that.

 

Hank was quiet for a minute, obviously not used to people being this serious with him. It took him a few moments to put everything together, Connor didn’t blame him.

 

“Connor, this changes nothing.”

  


No words could describe the relief Connor felt. He hadn’t expected Hank to kick him out or anything, but he was prepared for it. He always was, now that he thought about it.

 

“I don’t want you to think you’ve lied to me or anything. You haven’t.” Hank continued as Connor fell silent. He supposed he didn’t need to say anything else. Instead, he let himself pull the older man into a hug, nervous for a few seconds before Hank eventually returned the hug.

 

“Breathe, Connor. You’re safe.”

 

And finally, Connor felt like those words were actually true.

 

\--

 

The two stayed like that for God knows how long. At some point Hank had started running his fingers through Connors hair and down to the small of his back and back up again.

 

“Is this okay?” Hank had asked, voice small enough to think they were hiding from someone. But they weren’t - it was just the two of them, and Sumo too of course.

 

“Yeah. Thank you.”

 

“No need to thank me, kid.”

 

“I’m 31.” Connor could practically feel the vibrations of Hanks voice.

 

“A baby.” Hank insisted.

 

Connor laughed, not bothering to move.

The two stayed still like that for a few more minutes, Connor feeling the rise and fall of Hanks chest. The brunettes head was buried against the side of Hanks neck; it was slightly scratchy from the patches of stubbles from his beard. But at the same time, it was the most comforting feeling Connor had ever known.

  


“Ah, Connor, this is real nice but my back is starting to-”

“Sorry.” Connor interrupted him, leaning out of the hug to let Hank adjust his way of sitting. The two of them sat with a little distance between them, fondly looking at one another. Connor inched closer to Hank, intent on closing the gap between them for the second time that evening.

 

They were mere inches apart.

  


Of course that was the moment Sumo decided to jump in between them for cuddles.

 

Who could refuse him?

Connor leaned in to kiss Sumo on the forehead, giving him a ton of scratches meanwhile.

 

“Can’t believe I’m jealous of my own fuckin’ dog.”

  


Eventually, Sumo calmed down, walked around in a circle twice before laying back down in between Hank and Connor.

  


“Do you think our food is cold?” Hank asked.

 

“Probably, yes.”

 

“You don’t mind, do you?”

 

“Are you asking me to eat cold takeaway?” Connor chuckled, still petting Sumo. “Because I gladly will.” He continued his sentence.

 

“Good.” Hank moved to grab the two takeaway containers and handed Connors back to him before digging into his own.

 

They stayed like that, and all was well.

 

\--

 

Their peaceful dinner was soon interrupted by Connors phone going off, startling Sumo enough to send him off the couch in surprise.

 

It was Niles.

 

“I’m just gonna go.. Take this. Give me a minute.”

 

“Sure.”

 

And Connor slipped off the couch and moved to the open hallway; it wasn’t like it was the most private place but better than right next to Hank.

 

“Niles, whats up?”

 

_“I’m outside your apartment. Let me in.”_

 

“I’m not uh- I’m not home right now. Is it important?”

 

_“Why aren’t you at home?”_

 

“I’m at- I’m with- I’m just hanging out with someone that’s all.”

 

_“Are you dating again, Connor?”_

 

“Perhaps.. I hope so.” Connor lowered his voice, a tad shy at the thought of Hank listening in. The sound of the TV turning on proved otherwise, though. It seemed like he was putting on a movie or something, or just watching whatever was on.

 

_“What are they like?”_

 

“Great in every single way. I’m happy.”

 

_“Good. You deserve that.”_

 

“Anyway, why are you calling me? It’s-” Connor pulled his phone away from his ear to check the time. “Almost 10PM”

 

_“I proposed to Gavin.”_

 

“What.”

 

_“Yeah.”_

 

“Well, that’s great news! I’m happy for you! Should I come home?”

 

_“No, you don’t have to. If you’re with someone I don’t want to blueball.”_

 

“I’m not ‘ _with’_ \- Whatever, Niles, I’m so happy for you two.”

 

 _“Thank you.”_ There was silence on the other end for a minute. _“Anyway, Gavin is in the car, still. He’s yelling at me that he wants to get going if you’re not home, so I’ll hang up now. I’ll text you the details for the wedding when we have them.”_

 

“Yeah, sure!”

 

_“By the way, that person you’re with right now can be your plus-one if you want.”_

 

Connor blushed at the thought. “I’ll ask him.”

 

_“Good. See you, big bro.”_

 

“See you, Niles.”

  
  


So that was a thing that was happening now. Niles was getting married, huh.

 

Connor slipped his phone back in his pocket and walked back to sit on the couch.

 

“What’s up?” Hank asked.

 

“My brother is getting married.” Connor said, voice still monotone, rubbed off from the deadpan delivery of the news Niles had given.

 

“Woah.”

 

“He wants you to be my plus-one at the wedding.” Connor stated bluntly. “So we’d be going as a couple. Would that be alright?”

 

“Yeah, that’d be more than alright.”

 

“Hmm.” Connor smiled and looked over his shoulder to Sumo on the floor. He wasn’t going to be interrupting this time. The brunette carefully leaned in, and Hank did the same, closing the gap between them and leaning further into the kiss right after.

 

He could feel Hank smiling against the kiss, moving his hands to hold Connors waist and holding on tight. Connor rested his hands on Hanks chest, nearly leaning his entire weight on the older man.

 

“I like you a lot, Hank.”

 

“Yeah. Same to you.”

  


The rest of the night was mostly a blur, every single touch and every single kiss melted together to form a symphony only the two could play. A song that would never be repeated in quite the same way it started off.

 

\---

  


Connor had woken up next to Hank on his bed, in a t-shirt way too big for him and a pair of pyjama pants that also hung off of him, even though he had tightened the strap at least four times prior to going to sleep.

 

Hank was in a t-shirt and boxers, fast asleep while facing Connor. He smiled in his sleep - and Connor smiled back. He reached towards the nightstand to grab his phone and search through his contacts to dial up Amanda.  It took her 5 rings to pick up, like normal.

 

_“Good morning, Connor. What’s happening?”_

“I’m not feeling too well, so I’ll have to call in sick. Sorry.”

 

_“I see. What’s wrong?”_

 

“I think I’ve just caught a cold.” He explained, like a liar. “I’ve known for a few days but hoped I could manage to go to work anyway. I don’t wanna risk it, though.”

 

 _“I see.”_ Moments of silence ensued, but they felt like hours. _“Get well soon then, Connor.”_

 

“Thank you Amanda. Bye.”

 

He hung up right after speaking, looking down at Hank to ensure he hadn’t woken him up.

 

He was still fast asleep.

 

Connor put down his phone again and nuzzled in close, planting gentle kisses all over the exposed skin Hank was showing.

 

He kept going until Hank eventually opened his eyes and pulled Connor close into a hug.

 

“Do you want to be big spoon or little spoon?”

 

Connor smiled.

 

“I can be whatever you want me to be, Hank.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe, whether or not they fucc is up to the reader.... ;o)) (but not rly bc i know) if anyone does want me to elaborate on what happens in the night lemme kno... >:33c ;33c


	4. But remember, the sun rises again tomorrow.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EPILOGUE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah this took so fucking long. i went through a breakup, exams, losing my job and a single trip to IKEA between chapter 3 and this one. 
> 
> only a short epilogue but i hope you enjoy nonetheless!!
> 
> i have a ko-fi if you'd like to donate! ko-fi.com/peachjuul

**EPILOGUE.**

 

He should’ve gone grocery shopping, Connor realised as he boiled pasta for dinner for the third time that week. It wasn’t that he minded eating pasta, but it gave him whiplash to his cooking at age 23. He spent most of his time at Hanks place anyway, and despite his cooking being a tad…. Lackluster, he tried his best. 

 

He had found out Hank was actually a pretty good cook, but most of the time he just didn’t want to bother with cooking. It was a waste, really, at one point, he had made a wonderful duck roast that sent Connor straight to the seventh heaven. He hadn’t eaten that well in years. That evening, Connor had made dessert and that had sent Hank to the seventh heaven alongside him. 

  
  


Connor strained the water from the pasta and moved a good amount of it to a bowl before topping it with parmesan that had been stuffed into the back of his fridge. He was basically a chef.  He ate a few bites of his pasta before taking a glance over to his terrarium, his geckos were fast asleep under their lamp. He wasn’t gonna disturb them by making a bunch of noise trying to feed them. He’d do it later. 

 

He had known bad weather was heading their way, a storm that wasn’t serious enough to warrant any warnings of tropical storms, but anyone currently outside would be a fool. It was supposed to last a few days, then again the weathermen always promised snow, sun, rain, hail and nothing every arrived as was foretold on national TV. Connor wasn’t the type of person to make a big deal of it, though, mostly because he was indifferent to weather. He found sunshine as appealing as rain, every kind of weather seemed to fit together in the end, like the last two pieces that finally complete a 1000-piece puzzle.

 

Connor was in a strange mood, he realized as he stood and stared out at the rain while eating bland pasta with parmesan. It wasn’t a good or bad mood, not at all. He just felt strange, light headed, like he was floating. He hadn’t been alone in a long while and the instant he realized that he got a strong urge to text someone, to feel less alone.

  
  


These past weeks, he’d started asking to cut down on his shifts, Amanda had been wondering why and Connor had said he felt a tad overwhelmed: truly he didn’t know why he had asked that of her but he had, and his free time had been spent in Hanks house, exchanging loving smiles and mindlessly watching TV. 

 

They had been dating for around 3 weeks now- and time only seemed to keep speeding up. 

  
  
  


He had told himself he hadn’t been lonely before meeting Hank, ‘not at all’. But deep down he probably knew that was a lie from the start.

 

He put down his bowl of pasta and opened the door to his balcony and let the sound of the heavy rain fill his apartment. 

 

A text message from Hank broke the silence.

 

[8:45 PM] HANK: ‘sumos freaking out over the rain’

[8:47 PM] HANK: ‘hope youre ok all alone.’

[8:51 PM] HANK: ‘im thinking about you’

  
  


Connor smiled at his phone, he debated what to reply but didn’t have to think long before Hank was calling him.

 

Of course Connor picked it up.

 

“Hey Connor. Sorry for calling right after a text, I just-”

 

“I miss you too.”

 

“Yeah. You left barely two days ago and being alone just sucks, Sumo isn’t great company when he’s hiding from the sound of rain.” 

 

“Come over then, I can offer you some bland pasta for a romantic dinner.” Before Hank could reply, Connor continued speaking. “I’m kidding, you shouldn’t drive in this weather. But I do want to see you.” 

 

“If the weather isn’t this bad tomorrow, I’ll come over. If that’s okay.”

 

“You sure Sumo’s gonna be okay alone? Guess you’ll have to….. Bring him along…”

 

“If you want me to bring Sumo just ask.”

 

“Bring Sumo please.”

 

“I will, then.” Hank laughed on the other end of the line. Connors heart felt warm.

 

“On second thought, just drop Sumo off and go back home.”

 

“Typical.. Been used for my dog once again.” Hank faked a sigh as he joked around, even though he couldn’t tell Connor smiled.

 

“He is a cute dog. But you’re cuter.”

 

“Don’t make me soft, Connor.”

 

“You already are. A big pillow.” Connor cringed at how bittersweet he was being with Hank, but he couldn’t help it. He felt like a lovesick teen around him, he was giving himself cavities.

 

The two fell silent, and Connor stood in the doorframe of his balcony, looking out into the night. 

 

They stayed like that - listening to the rain and the gentle shuffles from the other end of the line.

  
  


\--

  
  


“It says right here - Male, late 20’s/early 30’s, dark hair, slim to normal build, wanted for semi-big role in a Zentropa production”

 

Connor held up his phone so close to Hanks face he was basically blinding him from the light of his screen. 

 

“They’re basically screaming my name, I’m seriously considering going to the audition. It’s a 2 hour drive away, though.” Connor had been rambling for a solid 10 minutes about the same topic. He’d found an audition posting online, normally he just read through them without any real intent on going, but this just seemed to fit him so well he might as well give it a shot. 

 

“You should do it.” Hank had said at least 5 times so far. 

 

“I mean, they might as well just write  _ ‘Connor Arkeit come to this audition right now’ _ ” The brunette plopped down on the couch, switching his gazes between his phone and back to Hank.  “But I mean, what if it’s a waste of time. You have to pay a fee to apply for an audition. It’s not a lot but--”

 

“You should do it, Connor.” 6 times.

 

“‘Audition day.. October 11th..’ That’s the premiere of that movie we wanted to see, though. Maybe I shouldn’t, you were pretty excited to see it.”

 

“Connor. Go to the fucking audition.” Hank insisted, moving to rub Connors shoulder. “We can see it some other time. Besides, when you get the part you’ll be able to afford to rent out an entire cinema and we can see it together.”

 

“ _ If  _ I get the part” Connor corrected, leaning into Hanks arms slowly.

 

“I’ll drive you to the audition if you’ll let me.”

 

“I better make a good playlist for the 4 hours we’ll spend on the road then.” Connor said and browsed to his music library and scrolling through to create a new playlist. “How about 21 plays of End of the road by Boys II Men?” 

 

“Sounds perfect.”

 

\---

 

Connor always felt underdressed next to his brother. Niles was pretty much a goth icon when not at work. But not in a way that felt like he was a teen, he was pretty sophisticated in his look, but he could probably make his old college sweatshirt look presentable at a business meeting.

 

The two were out finding a suit for Niles. They had both guessed it wouldn’t take too long but by now they’d been in the same store for 5 hours because Niles couldn’t decide on his blazer. 

 

“Are you picking a tie or a bowtie by the way?” 

 

“Gavin is wearing a bowtie, I know that much.” 

 

“I still can’t believe you’re getting married… I mean, last night I ate raw shredded cheese for dinner.”

 

“Bold of you to assume me and Gavin don’t also do that.”

 

“You know what I mean. I’m just happy for you I guess, you’ve found someone that completes you, in a way.” 

 

“You have, too, though. Haven’t you?”

 

Niles turned to face Connor directly, looking him in the eye face-to-face and not through the mirror. “Anyway, do you usually compare yourself to me like that? Maybe we’re twins but that doesn’t mean we have to be in the same place in life all the time, Connor, I hope you know that.”

 

“I guess, subconsciously I’m guilty of it.” Connor shrugged and leaned further into the chair he was in while Niles tried on suits.

 

Niles stepped closer to Connor, staring him down with slightly furrowed brows. “Stop it, then.” He poked between his eyebrows. “You’re great.”

 

Connor nodded. “Thanks.”

 

“I’ll try on the warm black suit again, give me a minute.” 

 

\---

 

Hank and Connor still didn’t live together. It was still too early for that, even though Connor would love being able to wake up next to his official boyfriend. They’d been together for a month and a half, and Connor spent most of his time at Hanks place anyway, the rent on his place was pretty much a wasted expense. But the talk about moving in seemed so strange and far away, he felt like he was overstepping a major boundary by just thinking about it. 

 

By now, the brunettes beloved Bike didn’t hit much road, Hank was almost always designated driver - whether Connor wanted it or not. When he had asked him why he always insisted on driving, Hank had shrugged and mumbled something about  _ ‘just wanting to’ _ . Connor wasn’t complaining anyway, he enjoyed driving with Hank. 

 

But now they were getting ready for 2 hours of it, followed by 2 more hours later that day. 

 

It was October 11th, the day of his audition, and Connor had been practicing his monologue to the point it was basically the only thing he could speak. He had made [a banger playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/11157492192/playlist/30dyNpvka9tQedGbX72ogB?si=BApCVxjRQ7KYRA8AMB15Tg) \- not one containing 21 plays of End of the Road, but it was pretty much as good as that. 

 

The audition started at 12PM, and it was 9AM, that left them 3 hours to get there, it should be fine, even if traffic was bad. They both knew it’d be sometime before Connor would get in to actually audition, but it was better to be there early to make a good impression. Hank had insisted on staying in the area, he mentioned he would find a dog park for Sumo and let him have fun while he sat on the sidelines. 

 

Both of them knew he’d probably just take a nap in his car alongside Sumo. The two were very alike, big boys, lazy, sleepy. He loved them both equally, though. 

  
  
  


Through the speakers blasting video game soundtracks and old love songs, the two hummed along without saying a word. Connor was in the back to make sure Sumo would be okay during the drive. Apparently, Sumo had never really been in a moving car since he was a puppy,  so Hank wasn’t sure how he’d react. So even though Connor would’ve loved to be in the passenger's seat, he stayed in the back with the big puppy. 

 

Connor had smashed so many songs onto his playlist that he never really listened to the lyrics of, one song in particular stood out. He felt strangely connected to it, the pace was slow and the vocalist sounded tired, and overall it was sort of… dull. Still, Connor was hyperfocusing on it. 

 

_ ‘It’s dark out early, you’re feeling alone, _

_ You’re tired, but not so tired you can sleep, _

_ It’s hard for you to keep yourself afloat, _

 

_ When everyone is out enjoying the snow, _

_ You just dream yourself away, _

_ Dream you’re walking by the seaside with me, _

_ and that the summer is sure to come, _

 

_ Because the mood is always changing, _

_ But don’t let yourself find comfort in sorrow, _

_ You usually come dancing to everythin’, _

_ But the sun will rise again tomorrow.’ _

  
  


He supposed he could relate to it, somewhat. A few weeks ago he had been in a weird spot of feeling like he didn’t belong anywhere and had no plans for his future. He had felt lost. 

 

But now he was heading to an audition that could potentially change his future for the better. He regretted spending as much time as he had on a dead-end job with a boss he didn’t like and a supervisor he hated. The only good thing that had come out of the cinema was meeting Hank. 

 

It seemed almost surreal, meeting someone 20 years his senior while just working like normal, and several months later they were in a relationship. He had been afraid a new relationship would fail - that he’d be too dependant on the other person and loose himself. Hank had helped him do the exact opposite, he was finally doing something for himself, to better himself. He was happy around Hank but was slowly getting better at not being dependant on having the company of others around him. He knew it was a slow process, but he was getting comfortable in his own silence.

 

He didn’t feel as pathetic as he had felt just a year earlier. 

  
  


Soon enough they were there and Connor had kissed Sumo (and Hank) goodbye before waving at Hank as he drove off to find a dog park for Sumo. 

 

The studio the audition was taking place in seemed to be a repurposed school in the middle of a big city, three floors and a big sign in front of the door. 

 

_ ‘ZENTROPA PRODUCTIONS AUDITIONS FLOOR ONE’  _

 

Followed by a long list of names in alphabetical order, Connor combed through it multiple times before concluding his name wasn’t on it. He moved to look at the corresponding list for the second floor. 

 

He was 4th, auditions started at 12PM and it was currently 11:34AM. He was in good time. Thank god. 

 

He moved inside the building to see several men around his age with his exact hair color and build. It was sort of surrealistic, if he was being honest. A good amount of people were sitting in a big break-like room with cups of coffee and snacking on biscuits that were out on tables. 

 

Several younger girls, all with a chubby build and long blonde hair were also scattered around the room. He supposed more character auditions to save time. 

  
  
  
  
  


\--

 

Connor got out of his audition at 1PM, he had thought it went fairly well, the producer and the screenwriter and two other people whom tasks Connor couldn’t remember had been in the room as Connor did his respective monologue and dialogue scenes. They had all been pretty nice and patient - not at all the harsh stereotypes he had been prepared for. 

He had been nervous as shit, but he managed to get through it without crying, that was an achievement on its own.

 

Before he walked out, an assistant had confirmed his phone number and email in case they needed to contact him for a second audition. 

  
  


Now he was standing outside the audition building, waiting for Hank to pick him up. It was beginning to rain lightly, and Connor watched as people were speeding up their walking paces as to not stay out in the rain too long. He considered going inside for a moment before spotting Hanks car pulling up to the side of the road in front of the building. He got in the back seat again, leaning over towards the drivers seat. Hank leaned towards Connor, too and the two shared a quick kiss. 

 

“Did it go well?”

 

“I like to think it did.” 

 

Sumo shuffled to rest his head on Connors thighs, and Hank extended a fast food paper bag towards Connor for him to take. “Here.”

 

“ **_Baaaaabe_ ** . Thank you.” He smiled and peeked into the bag. He stressed the ‘babe’ to a point it was obvious he was joking. The two didn’t really have any pet names for each other, and they didn’t find any necessary anyway, they called each other by their names and that was it.

 

“Do you want me to drive you back to your place?” Hank looked at Connor through the rear-view mirror. “Or to my place?”

 

“Yours.” The brunette replied instantly. “I think Sumo deserves more cuddles for today. I have no other agenda with going back to your place.”

 

“Whatever you say.” The two laughed for a moment before Connor lost himself in looking out the window and appreciating the rain. 

 

The two didn’t even listen to the other 2 hours of the playlist. 

  
  


\---

  
  
  


Niles and Gavins decided to get married at the city hall and the ceremony took less than 15 minutes before it was over. After that, they had moved to a smaller venue that fit around 40-50 people. They had really limited who they invited, which Connor definitely could appreciate. Less of his family to deal with meant less stress. For some reason, mostly people from Niles’ and Connors family could be spotted, it may just be that Gavin didn’t have a lot of family, the two didn’t talk about family a lot. Only the occasional joke that only the two understood. 

 

“Connor.” Gavin approached the brunette as he stood in the corner of the room, waiting for Hank to get out of the bathroom. “I would say I’m surprised to see you, but I knew you’d show. Even with all this family around.”

 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Gavin. I’m just surprised you managed to shower for once, for this occasion, Rat-man.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Gavins tone was harsh but the two both knew he was joking. The two had a weird relationship, anyone perceiving it from outside would probably think they hated each other's guts. When that couldn’t be further from the truth - they always joked around, had never really addressed the fact they thought the other was cool enough. They knew what they meant, though, that was all that mattered. 

 

“Anyway, I’m just desperately trying to avoid my family, I’m only here for you and Niles’ sake.”

 

“Same, why do you think I pretty much only brought Tina along? My mom would’ve come if I wore a dress and the name on the certificate was anything but ‘Gavin’, and the second I invite anyone else they’re gonna ask about why my mom isn’t here and shit..” Gavin shrugged. “Whatever, though, I’m glad you’re here.” 

 

“I’m glad you wanted me here. Also thanks for extending an invitation to Hank, we both appreciate it.” 

 

“No problem, dude, anyway, I’ll go talk to your mom now so she doesn’t approach you.”

 

“You’re a lifesaver.”

 

“I know.”

 

\----

 

Connor was on his 3rd glass of champagne and second plate of chinese food after 2 hours. He had been desperately avoiding his family since everything started, and so far it had been going nicely. But listening to his parent’s 30-minute long speeches was taking a toll on him mentally. The only thing keeping Connors head from imploding was Hanks hand on his back rubbing it gently. He obviously knew how hard it was to sit and listen to his mom reflecting on the past.

 

Tinas speech was the breath of fresh air everyone needed. 

 

“So I’ve known Gavin for the longest time. And I honestly did not think he was likeable enough to score a catch like Niles. But hey, he managed to and now they’re married! This day obviously required an amount of work, especially from me for having to spend a solid 6 hours helping Gavin pick out the perfect bowtie for his suit. In all seriousness, you two are a beautiful couple and I’m happy for you.”

 

Short and to the point, just like every speech should be. There should be a law requirement no speech should every exceed 5 minutes, life would be much easier like that. Oh well.

 

Tinas speech was thankfully the last of the dinner and it was back to mingling. 

The end of dinner couldn’t have been timed better, because Connors phone started ringing immediately after, he patted Hanks shoulder twice before moving to the bathroom to pick it up. 

  
  


\--

 

“So, this is The Hank.” Niles said as he walked up to Hank, reaching out his hand. “Thank you for coming.”

 

“Thanks for letting me come.”   
  


“Just so you know I’m FBI and if you ever attempt to fuck with Connor I’ll frame you for murder.”

 

Hank furrowed his brows in worry, he couldn’t tell if Niles was being serious or not. Instead he laughed.

 

Niles didn’t laugh though, he plainly stared at Hank before an odd smile appeared on his face. “Just kidding! But please don’t hurt my brother. I love him a lot and you seem like a good guy, but Connor has had his fair share of shit boyfriends. I guess I’m just protective of him.”

 

“I understand. I can assure you I’ll treat Connor right, nothing to worry about--” Hank was interrupted by Connor storming towards Hank with an excited look on his face.

 

“Hank I got it.” 

 

“What?”

  
“The part. I got it. Filming starts next month.”

 

“Holy shit. Congratulations Connor.”

 

Niles blinked but shook his head as to imply he would ask later. He smiled and clapped Hanks chest a few times as he walked away. “Enjoy the rest of the evening, I’m happy for you two. Congrats big bro.”

 

“Thank you Niles.” 

 

The rest of the night, Connor felt completely invincible, he couldn’t believe he got a semi-big role in a movie. An actual movie. He would be in a real life fucking movie. 

 

He couldn’t believe it.

 

\---

 

They had barely gotten through the door to Hanks home before the older of the two was all over the younger. Big, callused hands unbuttoning his shirt and working on his belt. 

 

Connor, however seemed totally unphased. “I’m happy Niles likes you. What did you two talk about before I came?” 

 

Hank basically threw Connors belt to the floor. “Stuff.” 

 

“Calm down cowboy. You’re eager huh?” 

 

“Well, yeah. Do you have any idea how tight-fitting those pants are.” It wasn’t even a question, just a statement. 

 

“Ah, I don’t know. I guess I won’t realize until they’re off.” Connor smirked.

 

“We’ll see.”

  
  


\---

 

Being at a film set still felt surreal for Connor, despite having spent the past  2 weeks shooting. Amanda had been less than happy when he had requested a 2 month leave in order to film. 

What Amanda thought about Connor was so far away. An infinite weight had been lifted and he couldn’t believe he was actually taking this big of a step in the correct way to fulfilling his dreams.  Even the mundane things like waiting for filming to start up again after he had hastily eaten his lunch, made Connor all bubbly. The director congratulating him on a job well done gave Connor happiness he didn’t think could exist. 

 

\--

 

Filming stopped late in the afternoon, and despite the weather being fairly cold, Connor had refused a ride home from a co-worker. He basically already had a private chauffeur in Hank. He was grateful that Hank wanted to spend nearly 4 hours a day driving Connor to and from work. 

 

He was grateful for a lot of things these days.

 

And as Hank pulled up and Connor stepped into the car, everything felt right. 

Without speaking a word Hank grabbed his cold hand and warmed it between his own, before kissing the back of it. 

 

“Let’s go home.” Hank had said.

 

Connor had already felt like he was home. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, thanks for reading through this mess!  
> i just lost my job, so if you have some spare cash i'd really appreciate it if you'd like to tip this fanfiction on my ko-fi https://ko-fi.com/peachjuul


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